QPR and aro questions

[Anonymous]

I'm roleplaying a lesbian-aligned aromantic asexual character. I want them to eventually get a queerplatonic partner, and eventually have a family with a partner. I have a few questions about starting queerplatonic relationships and aromanticism.

• How do people start qpr's? Since the concept is not too well known, how do people do it?
• Are qpr's usually long-term or shorter?
• Are people ever in both romantic relationships and qpr's at the same time?
• As aro-specs, how do you view romantic relationships and people in romantic relationships?
• How do you think being aro-spec affects your life?

Feel free to answer one, or a few, or all of them! Thank you all :)

[alto]

I guess by asking someone to be in a QPR?  The trouble with that is that many people cannot understand the concept of QPR, even sometimes fellow aros don't get it.  My first QPR slowly evolved into soft romo, the second person I asked treated it the same as an orthodox romantic relationship.  So be aware that this character's intentions may be completely misinterpreted by the other characters.  You can use this to your advantage in creating a story.

QPRs can be long or short term.

Yes, people can be in romantic relationships and QPRs at the same time.

I can't answer this question.

I feel like what I want is completely different from what most people want.

[jjaee_jaee]

On 4/29/2022 at 2:45 AM, Guest Anonymous said:

I'm roleplaying a lesbian-aligned aromantic asexual character. I want them to eventually get a queerplatonic partner, and eventually have a family with a partner. I have a few questions about starting queerplatonic relationships and aromanticism.

• How do people start qpr's? Since the concept is not too well known, how do people do it?
• Are qpr's usually long-term or shorter?
• Are people ever in both romantic relationships and qpr's at the same time?
• As aro-specs, how do you view romantic relationships and people in romantic relationships?
• How do you think being aro-spec affects your life?

Feel free to answer one, or a few, or all of them! Thank you all :)

that sounds like good fun! i'll answer the best i can :)

1) i would say that for me, i would have to already be quite close to someone and later ask them to use this label to define our relationship, like an extended friendship!

2) i would say that it depends on the people in the qpr, its different for everyone, but i think most are long-term? 

3) i've heard of people that have romantic relationships and qprs at the same time, although i've heard of some allos who would be against their partner being in one as they think it's disloyal?

4) for me i dont understand it, i just see romantic relationships as friends who got closer and feel comfortable doing 'romantic things' (hugging, kissing etc.) i cant get my head around it, to be completely honest! 

5) being aro-spec to me means being able to feel more comfortable around friends and people i know as i'm not worried on how it could affect our relationship, as they know i dont want anything more than a friendship. it means i know my boundaries and in my experience means i understand other people's as well! 

hope this helps! keep us updated! 

[merlindfluorite]

1. Start by needing someone to be your emergency contact. Build from there until you are essentially common law married. 🤣

2. Depends on how they start I think. That's like any type of relationship. Is there enough trust? Is there enough commonality? How long is a piece of string?

3. Yes. Although in my experience the 'dating' relationships are bit more casual.

4. This is an odd question - it's a bit like looking at all the different types of dynamics between siblings, or parents and children. It depends on the people, the dynamic, the healthiness of it. Most aros generally grow up in a romance-oriented world so even if we don't feel it we at least accept that other people do!

5. I am poorer. I have to pay for everything myself 🤣