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alloromantic confusion !


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ik im alloromantic probably but this is getting out of hand-

i cant even find difference btw romantic love and platonic love anymore or alterous one-

im dying here-

i feel like instead { hey hi u seems like kind person lets be friends! } im like { lets date ! we can be good bestie partners/any kind of partner etc}

whats going on with me .___.

is there any other allo that feel like this !?

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To be honest, I think the "standard" person would feel romantic love as a sort of "obsession" + "wanting an intimate partnership" + "happy nervousness". Don't think too hard about the definitions because it differs by culture and is very confusing. But I use this as a sort of guideline.  Platonic is often more chill and less intense and there is less pressure on long-term relations. I hope this helps. :)

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4 hours ago, Aya said:

To be honest, I think the "standard" person would feel romantic love as a sort of "obsession" + "wanting an intimate partnership" + "happy nervousness". Don't think too hard about the definitions because it differs by culture and is very confusing. But I use this as a sort of guideline.  Platonic is often more chill and less intense and there is less pressure on long-term relations. I hope this helps. :)

tbh im somehow suffering from ocd so idk what to do about obsession part ;] im always happy nervous i usually get easily nervous and well- i think i will never find out how to find out but thx u so much for explaining it helped ^w^ <3 have lovely day

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Not sure how helpful this will be to you but this is something I have been reading about recently and might be of use to you.

The way you are approaching romance, and to be honest the way I learnt about it and probably the most common way to hear about the idea whne looking up aromanticism, goes something like this. There are distinct forms of 'attraction', sexual, sensual, romantic, platonic etc. You then go through and see which of those you 'experience'. no romantic -> aromantic. no platonic -> aplatonic. etc.

This seems to be the way you are going and you are getting into a whole mess trying to split up these feelings into neat little boxes of love. 

This is not the only way to think of things.

I would recommend having a look at this blog post called 'Confessions of a Former SAM Aro' if you want a better idea than I can explain at the moment. https://nothingradical.blog/2021/09/16/confessions-of-a-former-sam-aro/

But at the very least, understand that you don't have to do this. And if splitting how you feel into these forms of attraction seems to be giving you more confusion rather than helping you understand yourself then maybe it will help to find a different way of thinking about these things.

No idea if that helps, but hopefully it is something to think about.

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6 minutes ago, roboticanary said:

Not sure how helpful this will be to you but this is something I have been reading about recently and might be of use to you.

The way you are approaching romance, and to be honest the way I learnt about it and probably the most common way to hear about the idea whne looking up aromanticism, goes something like this. There are distinct forms of 'attraction', sexual, sensual, romantic, platonic etc. You then go through and see which of those you 'experience'. no romantic -> aromantic. no platonic -> aplatonic. etc.

This seems to be the way you are going and you are getting into a whole mess trying to split up these feelings into neat little boxes of love. 

This is not the only way to think of things.

I would recommend having a look at this blog post called 'Confessions of a Former SAM Aro' if you want a better idea than I can explain at the moment. https://nothingradical.blog/2021/09/16/confessions-of-a-former-sam-aro/

But at the very least, understand that you don't have to do this. And if splitting how you feel into these forms of attraction seems to be giving you more confusion rather than helping you understand yourself then maybe it will help to find a different way of thinking about these things.

No idea if that helps, but hopefully it is something to think about.

well ye im really getting confused how to split things up and the blog post u sent its filter for me sorry TuT 

and yes it really helped thx for help and advice i really appreciate it =] i was just wondering if any other alloromantic in this forum can relate to me but still not any allo commented here TvT

thx again have lovely day =] 

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