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Dating someone just to try it out?


Guest Dani
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Guest Dani

I've slowly been coming to terms with possibly being aroace for a while now and have started getting comfortable with the idea.

Recently, a friend of mine has confessed to liking me and I'm conflicted on what I should do about it. I'm not really sure I'm attracted to her, but then again, I feel like I've never felt a straightforward emotion in my life. I don't want to lead her on but I'm also not happy with the idea of shutting her down entirely because I keep thinking maybe something could change in time. Would it be wrong to say I'm not sure and make her wait or to get in a relationship with her just to try it out? I really don't know how relationships work, I've never been in one.

I should also mention we've only known each other for a few months and, due to the world's current situation and both of us being pretty busy, have mostly just been chatting online. I suppose if we were closer it'd be easier to tell what I'm feeling, but right now I'm just really confused about how much of this is just me being curious, feeling as if I'm missing out and also just being scared of hurting her.

I realize this isn't really a forum for dating advice and that no one can tell me what I'm feeling, but I figured maybe someone on here had a similar experience and maybe someone else's perspective could help, I don't know.

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that's pretty much what i did, though i wasn't so self-aware, basically i was trying to prove to myself that i wasn't aro and ended up doing the opposite and hurting both of us.  some good did come of it afterward--at just 17 i was able to accept my aromanticism and the fact that i never have to date again (nor did i ever).  was it worth it?  probably not.  it's hard to say what would have happened if not for that particular experience.  but i can say that i think your friend deserves to know how you really feel.  often said, for good reason, communication in any relationship is so important.  without it, any mutual happiness is just luck.  whether with her or other people, you can always try a variety of things, such as dating without romantic expectations.  relationships of any kind are what the people involved make them.  yay relationship anarchy!  

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Sometimes I think of trying it out, but then I think of actually being in a relationship and it's like, nope, don't want that.

But yeah, just tell her that you're not sure what you feel for her, but that you'd be willing to try it out and see if anything comes of it. At least, that's what I'd do.

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