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guilt for stimming


fern

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when i think of or see people or things that make me happy, or listen to music i enjoy, i often flap my hands, shake my fists in front of my chest, or rock back and forth. when i'm upset or overwhelmed i often do those things too, as i find that they help. i also meow sometimes, for no real reason except that i like to do so. 

but when i do these things i feel guilty. i feel embarrassed for flapping my hands when i think of my best friend. i feel silly for rocking back and forth when i'm arguing with my parents and i feel upset. i feel like i'm not supposed to do these things, that they're wrong of me, and i feel ashamed. i don't always feel this way. sometimes i'm okay with it. sometimes i don't criticize myself for stimming because frankly, it's not like it's a big deal. i'm not hurting anyone, and stimming is something that i enjoy. but other times i feel ashamed of myself, even though i know logically that it's a perfectly okay thing to do

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I stim too! I often make noises or movements that are probably just a little odd to others. Personally it doesn't bother me, but I can see where it might create some nervousness or anxiety for you if you're worried how others think.

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