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Why do romantics find the weirdest things I do to be cute?


Meylin
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For instance, you are in a relationship as an aromantic and they an allo. Things I do like encouraging them to get their studdying done or them to get through a shift, the diction I use, and generall how I look.

They say it relatively often and I never felt the urge to reciprocate. Like, I've never found mondain things a partner does to be cute like they do, or even a normal look someone has to be cute. Is that a typical romantic thing?

Edited by Meylin
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i haven't ever been in a relationship, but i experience this. it's pretty odd to me since i could never appreciate small things about a person just because it's "cute." either some people pay really close attention or it's a romantic thing 🤷‍♂️

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Iunno. Personally I don't find little things cute unless we're talking about fictional characters. I have experienced aesthetic attraction, which may be part of what you're talking about, but so far as actions people take? Nah, they don't seem special to me.

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It seems like romantic actions are seen as cute less because of the action and more because of the person they are done by. So like, seeing that person do something can be so often seen as cute just because its them, even if from outside it just seems like something normal, like talking or getting engaged in some seemingly dull tasks.

I dont tend to think of people as cute though so it just seems mad to me.

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22 hours ago, questdrivencollie said:

Iunno. Personally I don't find little things cute unless we're talking about fictional characters. I have experienced aesthetic attraction, which may be part of what you're talking about, but so far as actions people take? Nah, they don't seem special to me.

Yes, I can find find things to be cute and maybe if someone has like a bow tie on, but I feel like that's a different kind of cute that they feel.

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On 12/12/2021 at 5:17 PM, Meylin said:

For instance, you are in a relationship as an aromantic and they an allo. Things I do like encouraging them to get their studdying done or them to get through a shift, the diction I use, and generall how I look.

They say it relatively often and I never felt the urge to reciprocate. Like, I've never found mondain things a partner does to be cute like they do, or even a normal look someone has to be cute. Is that a typical romantic thing?

It seems like something that's typically romance-coded in society. But personally, I find my friends pretty cute. Like sometimes when they're just chillin', or laughin' even. And it's not in a romo way, but typically in an overwhelmingly platonic, adoring way. 

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13 hours ago, DeltaV said:

IMHO I do not understand how you can find adults literally "cute" ever. It has to be a romantic thing...

What I find cute: babies, kittens, puppies.

I guess that u can find adults cute if you are also an adult, or if you have emotional closeness to the adult. 

5 hours ago, aroace_auncle said:

It seems like something that's typically romance-coded in society. But personally, I find my friends pretty cute. Like sometimes when they're just chillin', or laughin' even. And it's not in a romo way, but typically in an overwhelmingly platonic, adoring way. 

This is a mood. I find super cute some of my friends, the way they act sometimes is adorable, and I feel the same way when I am with my partner (I am in a "romantic" relationship but I feel no romantic attraction for her), so I guess that alloromantics might feel something similar...

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I think I see similar behavior among people who are fans of celebrities - they may not necessarily have romantic feelings for them, but they will find things that that person does to be cute or adorable just because they see the person through rose colored glasses.
Heck, I even do this with fictional characters.

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On 12/16/2021 at 12:52 PM, Arsenic said:

I guess that u can find adults cute if you are also an adult, or if you have emotional closeness to the adult. 

It wasn’t meant to be a hard factual statement. “Cute” is just associated with something little or small, that is attractive or pleasant. And so I find it an odd word when applied to adults.

Metaphorically it probably means that an adult is attractive and “childlike”, “submissive”, “innocent”, “vulnerable”. Those latter qualities are not bad, but why they are supposed to be desirable is a mystery to me. Which is implied when using “cute” (it’s a positive word).

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4 minutes ago, DeltaV said:

Metaphorically it probably means that an adult is attractive and “childlike”, “submissive”, “innocent”, “vulnerable”.

I'd never think about it that way... Cute is an adjective that I use for a LOT of things (animals, plants, objects, humans, actions...) but never in the way you say... 

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