Jump to content

Questioning my appropriate gender identity


Recommended Posts

For most of my life, I’ve identified as male since I was born that way. However, I’ve been considering whether I’m trans, but a few things have made me unsure. Firstly, I don’t feel any kind of gender dysphoria. In fact, I feel like I’m physically male but more mentally female, if that makes sense. Secondly, I know that even if I was absolutely certain that I was trans, it would be really difficult for me to start feeling comfortable identifying as such. Do you think this means that I’m not really feeling this way or am I just not feeling confident about it atm? This has been really annoying to deal with, so I’d really appreciate any help you can give :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This sounds a lot like my experience. I just thought I was a guy without thinking much of it since I was raised to think so, but I could never conform to the social patterns that people thought a guy should. My therapist said over and over that looking for male friends seemed to him like the best solution to feeling like I couldn't have close friends because of amatonormativity and partner jealousy, and I just felt frustrated that was all he kept saying over and over but had a very hard time telling him why it was wrong. Even knowing I got along much better with women than men it took me several more years to figure out why. I didn't feel totally confident about identifying as not a man at first, the first couple shopping trips I did to get new clothes after changing my pronouns were only stuff from the men's section that just looked more gender-neutral before I got comfortable getting clothes meant for women. If you made a post about feeling this way then you are really feeling it and that's valid.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Feeling gender dysphoria isn't a requirement for being trans! Many trans people don't feel gender dysphoria and that doesn't make them or you any less valid. I also think it's pretty common to be hesitant about identifying yourself as another identity. At least, it certainly wasn't easy for me, I was afraid of being wrong about me being trans. (but I wanted it to be true so bad, and maybe that was enough)

Anyway, my little advice is: figure stuff out in your own time, it's okay to experiment with your gender expression (such as trying new clothes and/or pronouns, to see how you feel about it) even though you're not certain about being trans, I think that's really helpful when you're questioning

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...