Private Messaging Obsession

[Guest Sam Putty]

So I have had these internet friends on Instagram for about 4 years now, I really like them and they seem like great people. However, speaking to them is giving me anxiety? If I feel like if I don’t check to see what they say it makes me feel anxious. When I go in to talk to them, it makes me anxious. I feel like this has been taking over my life for years. I also find myself unnecessarily getting angry, annoyed and even jealous sometimes, for example, on Instagram they give you an option to like someone’s message, it really irritates me when a friend won’t like my message but then like someone else’s, it also annoys me when I feel ignored. I feel like I’m fighting for the attention of these people, when in reality, they probably aren’t purposely ignoring me, my brain is just telling me they are, and I keep telling myself this but I can’t seem to fully get a grip of it. I also find myself constantly opening and closing the app to check to see if someone has messaged me, I’m talking like hundreds of times a day.

 

Does this happen with anyone else? Does anyone have any coping strategies to help stop this silly obsession? Thanks.

[Blake]

Hi there anon, I will say first and foremost that this forum is not made to treat any kind of issues that are not a-spec. Most of us do not study medicine or psychology, so at best we can advice, nothing more than that. What you feeling is valid, no one can tell you otherwise. In my opinion, you are obsessed with this persons, and I believe that there is nothing one should obsess about, but that is me. You cannot let anxiety rule your life, it is terrifying to confront your anxiety but it is something you should do if you want to have it under control. Look for a therapist, speak about how you feel with them, and they will be able to help you. If you are a minor, tell you parents that you want to see a therapist for your own health. You don't have to explain much to them if you do not want ofc, that is up to you.

As for a coping strategy, speak to them and try to make a conversation. See how you feel and do it as much as possible, remember that we are all people with autonomy, so it is ok to be rejected, just do not let it be all your life or your experience. If they don't want to talk, look for someone that wants, there are over 8-9 billion people, not everyone wants to talk, but some do.

[ilse]

2 hours ago, Blake said:

Look for a therapist, speak about how you feel with them, and they will be able to help you. If you are a minor, tell you parents that you want to see a therapist for your own health. You don't have to explain much to them if you do not want ofc, that is up to you.

definitely this, i might also suggest finding hobbies or interests to try and take your mind off the person? i believe some time apart could be beneficial in this case, log out and spend time off social media if possible.

[Guest Sam Putty]

Hi, this is the anon who asked the question.

I want to apologise, I did not analyse where I was when I wrote the question, I should of done that before writing. 
 

However, I do appreciate the responses to my questions, thank you very much.