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Asking gay male squish out to eat as platonic friend


simplyaro
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I have poor social skills, even at my age, and I need help. As I'm here, I'm obviously ARO. I'm female and have a gay male squish. I won't have the opportunity to see him for a few months, but I'm thinking ahead. I'm a (roller) coaster enthusiast and the squish is this guy who I met in the online coaster social media community; Our conservsations started when he responded to comments I made on the content he posts. Over the summer, we met up at Hersheypark and hung out there together a few times in 2020. It was the most amazing time and I really adore him like you wouldn't believe. We're planning to hang out at amusement parks many times this year. We have a lot of things in common -classic rock, horror movies to name a few, not just roller coasters but that's a huge passion for the both of us. I never before had a friend (not counting online) that I had much in common with and he fits the bill of the friend I always dreamt of. I have no interest in dating and he doesn't want to anytime for the foreseeable future for his own reasons. Also, obviously we couldn't be more due to mixed orientations. All I want is to just have lunch/dinner with him and talk about our common interests. I really don't like going back to my hotel room and eating dinner alone when the park closes in the evening- would be very nice to have the company. How do I go about asking without him thinking it's a date?

Edited by simplyaro
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Nice that you found a friend you like so much!

Perhaps you could say something along the lines of "It would be nice to have the company of a friend, would you like to have dinner with me?"/"It would be nice to have dinner with a friend, would you like to join me?" I would say that's pretty clear that you mean it platonically and not as a date. 

Good luck!

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It sounds kind of like you've already discussed relationships if you know he isn't doesn't want one right now? If you have both previously mentioned a general lack of interest in dating, and he's knows that you know he is gay, then there's no reason he would think it was a date. It's perfectly normal for friends to go out for a meal together. Just ask the same way you would ask to meet up for anything else. 

Personally my normal turn of phrase for such a situation would be: "Fancy getting something to eat after the park?" 

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