Kit Posted January 16, 2021 Share Posted January 16, 2021 Hi hi! I'm Kit, 22 years old agender transboy from germany. I've been identifying as asexual for almost 2 years now. Just recently found out about the agender stuff tho! I use agender transboy because even tho I'm agender I like to be seen as boy in public etc. Doesn't change the fact I don't feel like I have a gender at all! I've been questioning my romantic orientation since quite a while. I'm pretty sure I'm on the aro spectrum but no idea where exactly. I'm having a hard time finding out what romantic attraction is and to know if I ever experienced it. I have had some "crushes" but they could've been just platonically or sensual/aesthetic. I've had this butterfly in stomach nervous feeling thing but man,I've got social anxiety and a avoidant personality disorder with borderline personality disorder traits so was is romantic attraction,my anxiety or my personality disorder?lol When I hear people talking about romantic attraction or see it in movies I can't always relate cuz a lot of stuff that's displayed there is just platonic for me. I do think I experience alterous attraction which might be also part of why I thought my crushes were romantic? I'd love it if someone could help me figuring it out. Am I aromantic or not? To make it a short list: • i experienced butterflies in my stomach, nervousness around them but haven't had a desire to go out on dates or something. if all i just wanted to spend time with them but somehow also not. • when I entered a relationship i felt like my freedom was taken away,because I knew my partner had some expectations from me and what's usually common in a romantic relationship but I felt like I couldn't meet this expectations cuz I didn't felt the same way they did • in my 22 years on this earth i think i had 3 situations in which I thought it was a crush • i don't wanna marry,dunt want children and don't want to live together with someone. I enjoy being alone. I could never stand it seeing one person every day,almost 24/7 and when sharing my stuff with them and including them in my plans etc lol ( does that sound harsh??) • i do experience aesthetic and sensual attraction really strong. As well as I experience alterous attraction. This could be the reason why I thought my previous crushes were romantic? • despite all i like being in a committed relationship with someone I think fondly off. If i enter a relationship with them it's probably because I enjoy their company and they don't annoy me. Like i feel safe with them and trust them. I can't think of anything to write down rn so I guess that's it for now! Hope you can help me out a bit!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roboticanary Posted January 17, 2021 Share Posted January 17, 2021 not sure but from what you say you sound aro to me. That point about enjoying being alone and not wanting to be around one person every day is something I totally relate to. being 22 with only 3 instances where you think you might have had a crush sounds very much like you fit somewhere within aromanticism. certainly most people I knew growing up were firstly quite certain of their crushes and secondly seemed to have quite a few even when in their teens. Anyway, welcome, hope you figure yourself out. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bad Things Posted January 17, 2021 Share Posted January 17, 2021 (edited) Hi and welcome! You do sound like aro. Well, you sound so much like me (like, really, 99% relate af), and I am aro. All (like,2 or 3, lol) my "crushes" were really strange, due I practiclly choosed who I will be attracted too. Even tho, there were hints that they suck. So I didn't want to know them better, but still wanted to get this, hmm, intriguing warm feeling? Also, the feeling that I had during those "crushes" were week. Even my good-story-crush, art-crush, fictional-character-with-good-strory-and-nice-character-development crush are stronger. Tho I still don't know what was that felling during "crushes". But kinda, whatever, lol. But it was definitely not romantic Go through this forum archives. They have a lot of mind blowing experience that helped me devide types of attraction (Roller coasters, Railways, Ferris wheels etc) Edited January 17, 2021 by Bad Things grammar 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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