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Bad Things

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  • Orientation
    Aro Ace
  • Gender
    trans boi
  • Pronouns
    he
  • Location
    Russia, Moscow
  • Occupation
    QA automation

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Tadpole

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  1. Hi and welcome! You do sound like aro. Well, you sound so much like me (like, really, 99% relate af), and I am aro. All (like,2 or 3, lol) my "crushes" were really strange, due I practiclly choosed who I will be attracted too. Even tho, there were hints that they suck. So I didn't want to know them better, but still wanted to get this, hmm, intriguing warm feeling? Also, the feeling that I had during those "crushes" were week. Even my good-story-crush, art-crush, fictional-character-with-good-strory-and-nice-character-development crush are stronger. Tho I still don't know what was that felling during "crushes". But kinda, whatever, lol. But it was definitely not romantic Go through this forum archives. They have a lot of mind blowing experience that helped me devide types of attraction (Roller coasters, Railways, Ferris wheels etc)
  2. Есть дом для аромантиков и асексуалов. Контент неплох, но по факту то же самое что и реддит. Чатилка мне там совсем не зашла, не то что нужно было в момент осознания. У пары ЛГБТ групп бывают чаепития для а-спектра и интересующихся.
  3. Relate to it greatly. and, again, relate to it. I thought it would pass but still eww. [22f-egg] Interesting, I just noticed, kissing/sex is gross only if it is developed characters. Porn and another nsfw content in internet is just neutral. Like "whatever, I don't know you". IRL it is 100% gross. Don't throw in my face your amatonormativity. Overall: this is really, like 80%, alike my expirience.The only thing I did not have realtionships. I did have an online friend that was good with me, that later confesed to me he loved me. I started ghosting him in soon after this confession. I felt traped when I talked to him from that moment. Ffs i did not see that comming. We talk sometimes, once a year maybe, and last time he confessed he was (when he confessed +- that year) thinking about marrying me. Eww, gross, chill please. I would never give up or put on hold my goals and dreams for marriage. Still, before this conffession he was really special friend that I could totally trust. I wouldnt mind if someone like him (he has NO career goals, it is no-no go for me) be my qpp, he was really nice as friend. Anyway, all rest is 100% relate. And I am sure (99%, lol) I am aro. I do think you are as well. Some human beings are really aethteticaly blessed. Had first "crush" because of his voice. As soon I started knowing him in romantic way (I was 13-14, don't blame me) and I started getting used to his, now usual, voice - all magic was gone (so do I) p.s. sorry for spelling, i am to lazy to fix it
  4. I think this is perfect describtion of people here? Lol I was in that phase for like my whole teens up to the moment I realized I am aro. The feeling is still there, but it only sexual/platonic way now And some words about OP I had bad example so never looked at marriage as end-all point. Same time I had great example of self improvemnt, working hard. So for me it is little easier to totally swith off "marriage" and focusing only on my dreams and working on job that brings me not only money, but also joy. Always considered marriage as sort of a pause in my life and my goals. edit typos
  5. Can't say I am any of those 100%. Mostly neutral though (my pick) I am averse by it if it is on public, or at neutral places like work. I am confused-aversed by it if it is towards myself. Disgusted of how it is almost top 1 priority today Though I absolutely neutral if it is has nothing to do with me - if I can't see and/or be directly affected by it. I am OK talking about it, I just can't say much about any romantic staff Also I have strong aesthetic feeling if it is some fictional/media/movie/theater. If only it has something powerful, like plot or music (yay broadway), going on same time. I adore when actors who played in one art piece (that I liked) get together - talented people get what they deserve and I really happy for them. I adore how fictional characters that has nice story find what they desire, even if it is romantic stuff. I like watching people when they achieve their goal, even if it is romantic stuff. So I think I am also partly open to romance
  6. lol this is relevant. I do love romantic movies (well, if only it is also a comedy). But whenever I watch them, I see every romantic plot as starting of great friendship. Still warms my heart though, despite I do not wanna be on their place, just nice to watch people bonding.
  7. Yeah boi! Happy af for you. That moment of realisation is one of the best feeling I felt, I assume so do you Good luck with self-exploring!
  8. Well, I just figured that I am aro, but I had similar questions before. But still my answer won't change much I don't get much pressure, but when I do I always tell that I have a dream that I know i can reach and any kind of relationship will slow me down or make me even give up my dream. People usually tell right-person shit but then I tell them it is career-related dream. Main point to keep "it is career" answer for later. They will definitely have question or comment after "dream" mentioned. Also it gives nice ground to keep talking about you career goals.
  9. Hey, everyone! F22, cis, aro and not sure about my sexuality (struggle with it for 2 years, think that I am bi with leaning towards men). But I think I will discover it more, because now I truly separate romance and sexual relationships. Just discovered this week that I am aro. I did't even know there was such a thing (even though I knew that ace exists). But as soon as I visited r/aromantic (much thanks to u/Finn_Finite for his answer in r/relationships), and scrolled some FAQ and posts I had this "click": "shit this is me af. So I am not broken". For the next hour I was smiling. Scrolling sub and smiling. From that moment everything is making sense. In my early teens I had forced crash to my classmate, who for real looked like Benedict Cumberbatch. I mean, how could I not? But he was a jerk, and thanks that I always put logic beyond feelings I just struggled a little without any connections to him. And for a long time I felt strange that even then I didn't want to date him. I mean kissing, cuddling? As 14y/u teens? Lol what? ILY confessions on such early age? So in my 16 or so I discover that I also have daddy issues. Then it was an answer to most of my lack of feelings: "I want a father figure that is why I don't fell into anyone around me, due they are all immature", "I need to deal with father issues and try to find some boy my age and go on a date with him and I will be normal then". This is definitely still open issue, but now it is not "magical super-answer to all my struggle". Also I had this long-term online friend. We played together for shit, long long time. I think from my 12 (he was 16 then) to my 18, when he confessed he loved me. I felt trapped when he said ily. And every time when he mentioned it, i just ignored it. I felt guilty, I couldn't say ily back due I not even sure what love is. I never felt it. Every feeling I had was platonic with different intense. I always felt about him (and still do) like the best friend I can have to spend time playing with, but he had some opinions that I definitely was not okay with (he is homophobic and has really aggressive view on rest of the word (non-ru)). Tldr, with this experience I am sure I am not demi-romantic or grey-romantic, so less confusion on which label I should put on myself. Also, now I am completely okay that I never had sexual partner in my life. I live in a society that forbids sex in non-romantic ships. So I always thought that I need to fit in it, and made myself those boundaries. Now i am freaking free of them! This was the worst struggle of all, gosh it is good to finally be okay with it. And the best benefit of finding that I am aro - I finally not afraid of being involved in close relationships. I don't know how, but I will find a way to find someone who will be ok with non-romantic/qpr. Any advises on that will be appreciated My first forum ever, and I love it! This is incredible to know you are not alone in this word. P.s. just in case - sorry for poor grammar. Stopped using translator for self-check
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