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Hi there!

I'm pretty new to the aro-community, as evidenced by the fact that I've only made one post on this site, but uh, I just wanted to write this open letter before I make any other posts.

I'm questioning my romantic orientation, I'm leaning towards aroflux because my my romantic orientation fluxes between orientations on the grey-spec, to alloromantic, and the fluxes last for weeks to months at a time. I'm still deliberating if this means that I'm on the aro-spec, and I'm willing to be wrong because I don't want to insert myself into a community that isn't meant for me, because I would never want to take up space in a community/space that wasn't designed for me.

For the most part, I just want to explain to people in the aro-community who don't believe in aroflux/don't believe it's valid or who don't believe the aro-spec/grey-spec is valid that I'm just trying to figure myself out. I'm human, I'm bound to make mistakes and life isn't meant to be lived perfectly.

So, to those of you who don't think that we belong in the same community, I understand. I just hope that if we engage in discourse we can remain as civil as possible and keep in mind that we're all human, with complex emotions and messy pasts.

Yeah, that was messy but I hope my message got across,,,



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Personally, I think that you should use whatever label feels right to you. If aroflux/greyro/arospec works to describe how you feel, you should use it. No one gets to tell you that your lived experiences aren't valid, as they haven't lived through them. I hope that helps at all.

Welcome to Arocalypse!

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Hi, hope you manage to figure things out.

As for discourse remaining civil, if anything comes up remember that invalidating someones identity is very much frowned upon here.

Also no worries about inserting yourself into a community that is not meant for you. I know some people might get angry but how else are you supposed to find where you do belong other than to engage in different ideas and see which ones fit. If it turns out you decide you are not aro then thats fine, but you belong here because you are questioning and that is enough.

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