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am i aromatic?


Guest sky

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 i’m 17 and i’ve only had like 5 crushes in my whole entire life, i think people are attractive but i don’t want to date them. it’s like i like them but i don’t want to date them? am i aromatic?

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Hi! I sort of wrote a mini-essay, but I hope it helps.

I'm not sure if you've deeply explored aromanticism yet, but you may find yourself of the grayromantic spectrum. Grayromantic is where one experiences romantic attraction very rarely, perhaps only a few times in their life. This includes demiromantic, where romantic attraction only occurs after a strong bond is established. I personally consider myself aromantic because I have never experienced romantic attraction.

In terms of "attraction," did you mean sexual? If not, it seems like you are describing aesthetic attraction, which is where you admire a person's physical traits separate from being sexually attracted to them. As an asexual person, I personally think people are just wonderful to look at, but I don't feel sexual attraction to them. If you did mean sexual attraction, many aromantic people still experience sexual attraction.

If you haven't explored much already, there are some great online resources where people talk about their experiences much more eloquently than I can.

Finally, only you can decide your label. If you think more about it and come to the conclusion that you are on the aromantic spectrum, great! If you don't, thats also great. If you use aromantic then decide it doesn't fit, that's fine as well. If you decide you don't want a label, that's perfectly fine.

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I'm not sure whether or not you are. 

As you can see from the other answer, you may be describing aesthetic attraction.

From your question I cannot infer much but here are are a couple of questions you might want to ask yourself that may help:

* when you considered a future with these crushes what do you imagine? do you see that as a romantic future or more like a best friend?

* what makes you think people are attractive? This should give you a better idea of if you are describing aesthetic attraction

*would you act on those crushes you describe? how?

 

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When you say you like them, do you mean you feel that romantic desire for them, to feel bonded to them as if you were in a relationship, but it isn't a reality you want to pursue?

If so, you might be cupioromantic, which is within the aromantic spectrum.

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