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Good Explanations of Grey-Romanticism


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https://asexualagenda.wordpress.com/2015/03/18/greyromanticism-301/

 

This is sort of a laundry list of how you might describe romantic attraction as a grey-romantic.

 

I know for me, this one in really hit home:

 

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Rather than saying, “I don’t know if I’m experiencing romantic attraction or not,” asking, “Does it matter if I’m experiencing romantic attraction or not?”

 

If I have no desire for the romantic relationship, then does it even matter if I've ever felt romantic attraction for someone?

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Greyromanticism as a primary romantic orientation, independent of gender.  Alternatively, picking a gendered orientation label seemingly at random–“well, I’ve been attracted to one person in my entire life and they were the same gender as me, so I guess that makes me homoromantic?”

 

 

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– Romantic attraction as indistinguishable from other types of attraction–platonic, aesthetic, sexual.  Knowing you’re feeling something but you can’t be more specific than that.  Only ever experiencing attraction in a solid block, so you can’t quite tease apart which is which.

 

 

These two quotes are particularly relatable for me. I have felt basically the exact thing the bottom quote mentioned, and the main person I felt it for was... a singular person. So it made it hard to even use a prefix at all, even of direction.

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34 minutes ago, Blue Phoenix Ace said:

If I have no desire for the romantic relationship, then does it even matter if I've ever felt romantic attraction for someone?

 

As someone who's lithromantic, I'd say it does matter, especially if you have a desire for a friendship with your crush. Every time I've felt romantic attraction towards someone, I always befriend them, and then once they start showing any signs of romantic attraction, no matter how big or little, I freeze up. My brain is like, "is this over? Am I done?" But up until that freezing point, the fact that I do have romantic feelings for the person completely changes the way I approach the friendship. Everything feels a lot more high-stakes; I have the intense urge to impress my crush and make them happy, and if they are unimpressed and unhappy with me, I freak out. My romantic feelings mess with my ability to form a healthy, stable friendship with my crush. I don't know if this is just a personal issue for me.

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