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Can an aromantic still have a crush?


Joslyn
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I am an aro-ace and there is this really cute boy on the internet. I would never want to date him because i'm aromantic but is it possible that I have a "crush" or just think that he is aesthetically admirable? I very very very very very recently discovered that I am aro so I don't know much, but I know enough that I am aro.

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I'm aroace too and also very very very very very recently discovered I'm aro too, but I believe the aromantic or platonic version of a traditional crush is called a 'squish'. What I can tell from my experience of squishes is that a squish is like a very strong platonic attraction to someone which is sort of a really intense form of friendship. For me, it's like I find someone really cool as a person but I still wouldn't date them. I also find people aesthetically 'nice' but that's never motivated me enough to describe my feeling as 'attraction'. Is this cute boy someone you've talked to or is it someone you've seen a picture of?

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I also recently discovered I am aro (LOL I like the amount of "very"s you guys used—it pretty accurately describes the feeling of taking all of this in) and I found out when I tried dating one of my squishes and WOW it just did not feel right and I had no idea why. 

 

But finding out about the different types of attraction really helped! I think admiration and aesthetics are strong forces of attraction that often get mistaken for romantic. 

 

Here are some helpful posts about squishes:

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=squish

http://theasexualityblog.tumblr.com/post/138663700030/squishes-vs-crushes-how-theyre-similar-yet-very

https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/41362-crush-vs-squish/

https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/23290-squish/

 

LOL I feel like I am pretty passionate about the topic of squishes because they were the ONE THING that held me back from identifying as either aro or ace because I was all like, "No! I still feel attracted to certain people!" but then I actually thought about the particulars of my attraction and I was like oh....these really are not "crushes" at all. Also as I mentioned I tried dating one of my squishes because that is what I thought I was supposed to do, and it caused me a lot of anxiety, stress, guilt, and confusion. So yeah, squish awareness is important! Not all attraction has a sexual and/or romantic component! I think people of all orientations experience squishes to some degree :D

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6 hours ago, Cee Fox said:

I'm aroace too and also very very very very very recently discovered I'm aro too, but I believe the aromantic or platonic version of a traditional crush is called a 'squish'. What I can tell from my experience of squishes is that a squish is like a very strong platonic attraction to someone which is sort of a really intense form of friendship. For me, it's like I find someone really cool as a person but I still wouldn't date them. I also find people aesthetically 'nice' but that's never motivated me enough to describe my feeling as 'attraction'. Is this cute boy someone you've talked to or is it someone you've seen a picture of?

I have seen picture of him. His name is Emil Andersson and even though I am an aro-ace I have always like long hair on guys (only if it worked). I just think he is really good at modeling and nice to look at. I've never talked to him.

1 hour ago, arolectriclady said:

I also recently discovered I am aro (LOL I like the amount of "very"s you guys used—it pretty accurately describes the feeling of taking all of this in) and I found out when I tried dating one of my squishes and WOW it just did not feel right and I had no idea why. 

 

But finding out about the different types of attraction really helped! I think admiration and aesthetics are strong forces of attraction that often get mistaken for romantic. 

 

Here are some helpful posts about squishes:

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=squish

http://theasexualityblog.tumblr.com/post/138663700030/squishes-vs-crushes-how-theyre-similar-yet-very

https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/41362-crush-vs-squish/

https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/23290-squish/

 

LOL I feel like I am pretty passionate about the topic of squishes because they were the ONE THING that held me back from identifying as either aro or ace because I was all like, "No! I still feel attracted to certain people!" but then I actually thought about the particulars of my attraction and I was like oh....these really are not "crushes" at all. Also as I mentioned I tried dating one of my squishes because that is what I thought I was supposed to do, and it caused me a lot of anxiety, stress, guilt, and confusion. So yeah, squish awareness is important! Not all attraction has a sexual and/or romantic component! I think people of all orientations experience squishes to some degree :D

Thanks for this. It actually did help me :)

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There are also other kinds of words for having strong attraction to someone, See: http://alterous-albatross.tumblr.com/post/145928544200/hi-is-there-a-word-for-an-alterous-crush-im (there are better links but I can't find them D:)

 

The way you are describing seems similar to aesthetic attraction, imho: https://anagnori.tumblr.com/post/66894636341/thete-aesthetic-attraction-crush-romantic

 

But yeah, it can also be another kind of attraction. This is just a suggestion.

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