arolectriclady

At middle school dances, I loved to fawn over the couples who were slow dancing but I absolutely did not want to be involved in a slow dance myself ?

Thank you, @Cee Fox ! Just to get a topic going I thought I'd share this post I made on Tumblr about the marriage of two famous Bollywood celebrities and how that impacts me as an aro of South Asian descent. I feel like each poc community has distinct, deep-set attitudes toward marriage and these are my thoughts on those in the South Asian community.

Just wondering if there are any other Asian American or Asian aros on here. What's your experience been like? For me, my parents are pretty liberal compared to other Asian parents. As a woman, I did not grow up with the pressure to get married nor were my parents super strict about dating. Their openness actually made me wonder what was stopping me from pursuing romance since I did not have them to blame for "holding me back."

Idk if this is more related to non-monogamy/relationship anarchy but part of me has no idea why cheating is such a big deal. Like...people are going to feel attracted to other people even while in a relationship! Idk what the big deal is! Why can't the couple just acknowledge that it might happen and if it does just talk it out? Or maybe open the relationship? It would be unreasonable to tell your friends to only spend quality time and have heart-to-hearts with you...how is a romantic relationship any different? *Throws hands up in air* I don't get it.

I watched the movie "Little Manhattan" on the plane when I was younger and I was uncomfortable throughout the whole thing but ESPECIALLY when they held hands. The girl took her hand away IN ORDER TO WIPE HER SWEAT and then held the boy's hand again. Ugh I thought it was so gross and honestly I have never been into hand holding because I do not see the point like your hands get warm and sweaty as if they are telling you to let go and set them free lmao

I would feel thrown off and disoriented whenever a close friend of mine expressed an interest and/or desire to date either in the present or distant future. I assumed because I feel so connected to these friends on a variety of other levels that they would share my attitude to relationships. But instead, there seemed to be this break in our commonality.

When I was growing up and starting to learn about romantic relationships, I hated the thought of getting to know someone and then eventually having to break up with them. That just sounded so sad and like a complete waste of time. What was the point if it is likely you will break up anyway? I guess that was an early sign that I prefer long-term close friendships and that I do not experience the romantic attraction people feel that "make it all worth it." Because if you think about it, without the romantic attraction component, romo relationships sound pretty miserable and pointless.

When I would experience what I thought was a crush and they got a boyfriend or girlfriend, I would not feel jealous. I would feel kind of sad/bummed, but there was no desire to be their romantic partner or take their romantic partner's place. Idk I guess an early sign was that dating was just never something I considered when I harbored a crush. If my crush started dating I just felt confused. Like, is that what I was supposed to do this entire time? Lol no thanksssss Looking back I think I got squishes on people I wanted to spend time with and get to know better. If they got a partner, I felt like I could no longer pursue a close friendship because they were already spending a lot of their quality time with someone else. Idk I feel like we live in a weird culture where you cannot become close friends with someone in a relationship because it would appear as a "threat" to their romantic relationship or something?

I remember watching the Friends episode where Rachel goes on dates with herself and finding that idea incredibly appealing and refreshing. Of course, the plot eventually revealed she was actually miserable and in denial the entire time ?