iris Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I wonder if I'm gray-romantic, based on one of the definitions from AVENwiki: Experience romantic attraction but not very often. For those to whom that applies, when you do feel romantic attraction, is it consistent based on person? I'm wondering if this definition would include a case where you sometimes are and sometimes aren't romantically attracted to a particular person. Sometimes I'm interested in my relationship and sometimes not. My spouse is much more romantic than I am, and I feel suffocated sometimes. Sometimes I feel the urge to play the role to make him happy. The sexual side of the relationship works for me; we work well together in taking care of life's responsibilities; but I find him needy and overly affectionate. I know sometimes he feels let down because I can't meet his romantic needs. However, sometimes I do feel affectionate and romantic. It's so confusing. I didn't notice feeling this way before, but on the other hand, I feel like I've been pretending for a long time. Did I not notice this because I blamed my lack of engagement on being depressed (particularly its symptom of not enjoying things you normally would)? I had been so depressed through almost my entire dating/marriage history that it's hard to sort out cause and effect and "what I'm normally like." I didn't date a lot before we married, and we've been together 14 years. But trying to look back, I wanted relationships but would usually panic once I was in them. I always thought it was because it wasn't a good match, but maybe I was primarily driven to relationships by sexual attraction (and loneliness)? In college I would flirt on instant messenger, but it didn't really occur to me that the guys I was flirting with could be interested in dating me. I figured they weren't and enjoyed it anyway. I'm not very educated on this yet, so I apologize if I've grossly misinterpretted that definition by thinking it might apply to me. I truly mean no offense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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