Is coming out necessary?

[pastelprincess]

I am aromantic. It makes me really happy and relieved to know this about myself. I feel like myself now. I was wondering if do you think it is necessary to come out to others? I want my family to know But I know my older sister hates lgbt people. I think my twin sister would be accepting. My mom I think she wouldn't believe me. (she never believe anything I say

Is this a bad idea to come out? Should it stay a secret forever? 

 

[Apathetic Echidna]

I can't say whether it is a good or bad idea to come out. It is very individual to yourself and the people you may be telling. You can certainly make your feelings clear without coming out and labelling yourself. My entire family basically knows I am never dating, or getting married or having kids, they have known for years before I even discovered asexuality and aromantic were words. 

Though now that I do know these words I think it would be important to tell anyone I did start a relationship with, and I will probably tell some of my friends. If you really want them to know, you don't have to tell your family all at once. You can drop hints before having a quiet chat with a sister. Prepare yourself for them being dismissive as that seems to be a fairly common reaction.

Most of all, don't think my advice is good as I have only really come out to one person so far and that was via email. Maybe wait for more 'out' members to find this and comment.  

[Queen of Spades]

Hello! First of all, welcome to Arocalypse!  

 

Now, let me tell you something. I discovered all the terms describing my sexual and romantic identity, as well as the kind of relationship that I look for, 3 years ago, when I was 18. I, too, was tempted to keep it all to myself as I read all those myths and was sure than no one was ever going to believe me. But then I realised that the older I grow, the harder it will be for me to go about my life without awakening suspicion among those around me. The first person I came out to is my female best friend. She's been very supportive ever since. I summoned up my courage and started sharing my secret to more and more people as time went by. It's been a bumpy ride. While some proved open-minded and understanding, others bombarded me with all those myths about us, refused to believe me and whatnot. I've faced a lot of judgmental comments. I've even been backstabbed. But sometimes circumstances do require that I come out. It's already become a regular occurrence that some guy spots me, crushes on me, and asks me on a date. I've tried different approaches and none worked, which is why I came to the conclusion that in such situations, I have no other choice but to tell the truth. It is frustrating that people find it so hard to understand me. Sometimes I just feel like posting an article on aromanticism on my facebook wall and get it over with. It's a real dilemma. 

 

It is only up to you whether you want to come out or not. In case you decide to go for it, I advise you to start with the person whom you trust the most. The fact that there's even just one person who understands you can be very encouraging and give you the strength to make your way through this ocean of ignoramuses.   

[pastelprincess]

24 minutes ago, Ice Queen said:

Hello! First of all, welcome to Arocalypse!  

 

Now, let me tell you something. I discovered all the terms describing my sexual and romantic identity, as well as the kind of relationship that I look for, 3 years ago, when I was 18. I, too, was tempted to keep it all to myself as I read all those myths and was sure than no one was ever going to believe me. But then I realised that the older I grow, the harder it will be for me to go about my life without awakening suspicion among those around me. The first person I came out to is my female best friend. She's been very supportive ever since. I summoned up my courage and started sharing my secret to more and more people as time went by. It's been a bumpy ride. While some proved open-minded and understanding, others bombarded me with all those myths about us, refused to believe me and whatnot. I've faced a lot of judgmental comments. I've even been backstabbed. But sometimes circumstances do require that I come out. It's already become a regular occurrence that some guy spots me, crushes on me, and asks me on a date. I've tried different approached and none worked, which is why I came to the conclusion that in such situations, I have no other choice but to tell the truth. It is frustrating that people find it so hard to understand me. Sometimes I just feel like posting an article on aromanticism on my facebook wall and get it over with. It's a real dilemma. 

 

It is only up to you whether you want to come out or not. In case you decide to go for it, I advise you to start with the person whom you trust the most. The fact that there's even just one person who understands you can be very encouraging and give you the strength to make your way through this ocean of ignoramuses.   

Thank you for the advice. This is helpful.