Apathetic Echidna

it is too late at night and I should be sleeping but I have been staring at this topic so I feel I must post something.

28 Days Later, but I may just be logic-ing away any romantic overtones

Daybreakers, a good vampire movie that focuses on the differing opinions which have caused a dysfunctional relationship between 2 brothers

Cube, people be too scared for their lives to romance

the anime Juuni Kokuki (The Twelve Kingdoms) I don't remember it having obvious romance, there is probably some minor side character stuff but it mostly focuses on how differing personalities perceive and interact with their world. Youko might as well be aro.

How come no one has mentioned Hot Fuzz? after the crime scene break up there is only minor side character stuff and the Romeo + Juliet scene is ridiculously laughable

Looking back I could have probably labelled myself as aromantic at 12 or 13, but I probably would have also used asexual as well (mostly because I was surrounded by sex interested 12 and 13 year olds and I wasn't particularly bothered). But then the ace thing would have been dashed to pieces when I turned 16 which might have messed up my sense of identity along with the inevitable false hope of possibly actually being like most other people. So I guess what I am saying is identify yourself as young as you want but don't let it become integral to your identity too early as you may grow to discover new things about yourself which may affect how you identify yourself. 

On 04/06/2016 at 0:02 AM, AroArtisan said:

That said, I don't worry about being alone, I worry about paying my bills and keeping my house.  I'm in retail which pays absolutely nothing, I'm in retail because of an awful childhood/yound adulthood, and I have no direction because I simply hate people and hate everything.  I have no friends, and they don't really help with this anyway.  I'm terrified of being homeless but the thought of living with someone else out of necessity when my mother passes away terrifies me to the core.

The ""being alone"" I can easily handle, it's making enough money to live that I'm not sure about.

On 11/06/2017 at 7:40 AM, Untamed Heart said:

I'm not afraid of being alone per se, but I'm wondering how I'm going to survive on my own in the future, especially as I only work part time and have no real idea how to get a better job, especially where I live. I'm too stubborn to move, too. I have no real skills aside from art I guess, and my ideal kind of job (aka fantasy) would involve working by myself or with minimal contact with other humans. I know I could always try and persuade someone to live with me and split rent/even a mortgage (again, I'm probably living in a fantasy thinking the latter would be possible), but I have no intention of deliberately finding a partner with a better job than I have, for such purposes. At best it would feel disingenuous. 

Reading about mortgages is kind of scaring the shit out of me, but that's kind of the route I want to take at the moment.

I am glad I'm not the only one. I thought I was very mercenary as my only fear is never owning my own house. Renting is ridiculously unstable and I hate change, plus I have heaps of stuff which makes moving VERY painful. My dream would to be building my dream house, but all I see are the piles of money needed for that and I have never seen a single person build a house and not be buried under a pile of debt. The housing market is so depressing anyway.......I need to win the lottery, either finding a sugar daddy happy with me or winning the actual lotto. 

On 01/07/2016 at 5:43 PM, Mogseltof said:

I drink and will get drunk semi regularly, and have been since well before I was legally allowed 0u0 (Thanks, Australian drinking culture) My friends and I tend to view it as a way to wind down and relax, and I find I'm more open socially it is the social lubricant when I'm drinking because it does lower barriers. I do need to moderate how much I drink (and if I do drink at all on occasion) when my medication changes though, because I end up on mood stabilisers/antipsychotics.

I guess I am another shining example of Australian drinking culture. The recent euro-migrant side of the family had me drinking wine with dinner early in my life to combat their perceived bad Australian attitudes to drinking and the Australian side were slyly encouraging me with beer and cocktails. Well you can't really escape it when you have cocktail Christmas every year. I can be proud to say I have never binge drinked (fund-raising pub crawls don't count. they are for charity!) 

On 26/01/2017 at 10:32 AM, Dodecahedron314 said:

I confess that even though I've had to help several friends through relationship issues and breakups at this point, my default response when someone comes to me crying about their romantic problems is still to unconsciously acquire a horrified deer-in-headlights facial expression and nervously offer them junk food to make them feel better because oh god why is water leaking out of your face about something I don't understand please help what do???

This is kinda the safest option! because the one time I decided to try something different I accidentally started a rant on how bad his personality was and that the last few weeks had been full of emotional manipulation on his part and I had been so proud of her when she broke up with him a week ago and  why was she sad about finding out about his cheating if she had already dumped him? it did not go over well. Now I just offer icecream and hugs. 

On 17/04/2017 at 4:48 AM, TheGreatUnstitched said:

Basically whenever someone announces they're in a romantic relationship I act like I'm really excited for them while on the inside I'm like debating how soon their relationship is going to end. I'm rather cynical/a lot more realistic than allos about relationships so I'm usually like okay....that's going to last....surrrrre but on the outside I'm like you're so cute together!!!! OTP!!!!

I thought I was the only one to do this! 

I confess that the first time I heard my best friend do 'baby talk' as an endearment to their partner I excused myself to throw up I was so revolted. Still makes my skin crawl and I have to leave the room. 

I agree with romantic attraction being desire and intent rather than actions. I hold hands, kiss, hug, share a bed with other people for weeks at a time without feeling romantic towards them. 

as I understand romantic attraction, in the most general way, from my David Attenborough-like observations of couples:

An attraction fixated on another person with the desire to become a partnered unit and have the bonding union acknowledged by others. When the attraction is returned and the relationship persued, the individuals involved are especially nice to each other and focus their attention on each other to the possible detriment of other previously established relationships. (I find that last bit is not something that happens with new friendships) 

extra points if you read this in your head with David Attenborough's voice!

On 28/06/2017 at 1:40 PM, McNuggetManChild said:

@James Oh there's nothing wrong with Paul McCartney. It's just that he's hella old now and choosing him showed how much of a noob I was in the realm of celebrity crushes. Also the fact I had no attraction to him whatsoever; I just liked the Beatles and their music.

I chose musicians I liked the music of because I was less likely to forget who I supposedly had a crush on. Though that kind of backfired on me when Holy Wood (In the Shadow of the Valley of Death) album came out, friends freaked when they thought my crush was Marilyn Manson. I picked more generic looking singers for the next 10 years. sigh. 10 years of being asked who my crush was.....did my friends never notice I never asked them? probably because they couldn't compute that I didn't care...and teens are self-absorbed.

On 02/07/2017 at 7:27 AM, NullVector said:

I thought of one. Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy came out back when I was still a kid. I really liked the idea of having a daemon (that was female if you were male and male if you were female). The implication being that you weren't missing some essential part of yourself, in search of your 'other half' to 'complete' you; you were already whole in and of yourself. You could be your own 'soulmate'. I really liked that idea. 

 

(when I was much older I also read Ursula Le Guin's The Left Hand of Darkness, which has a similar idea)

I just found out I have the first 2 of his trilogy, though I only remember reading 1. I am really loving the premise as I re-read them at the moment!

as for early signs of being aro...I guess the first time I was asked out I must have been 12 or something, I startled, said no, then preceded to freak out, terrified of being attacked by other offers for dates. I have mellowed, but back then being asked out felt like an attack or a threat. 

yay! colour with a u is winning! Colour is my favourite colour of all!

Dear Apathetic Echidna of 2003

Soon you will see a poster on the way to the airport of a band that will be touring soon. They are called Blink-182. You will love them. You in 14 years will still love them. So do us a favour and beg everyone in the family for a ticket. This is the only chance you will ever have to see them live. EVER! 

You will eventually become allergic to figs, so enjoy them while you can. Also watermelon juice is an interesting and easy thing to bring to summer parties, it also makes a pretty decent mixer. You have another 8 years with your pet. Enjoy every day. 

Forever yours,

Apathetic Echidna of 2017

PS. Pay attention to bushfire back-burning strategies in your environmental conservation course, it will be 20% of the final exam and the marker will not be amused by your rendition of the Mona Lisa as a bilby if you can't remember. 

um, maybe ew? I don't like cordials

eggplant

If I was going to comment or agree I would be quoting more than half of this thread!

YMBAI you can't tell the difference between 'appropriate' love and 'inappropriate' love in songs. creeper, stalker, rapey, sweet, unrequited, and mutual love duets all sound the same. 

YMBAI you meet someone and think you have found an instant good friend then freak out when they try to kiss you, then they complain about sending mixed messages. When all you thought you were doing was being friendly. 

YMBAI you listen to a friend talk about their new boyfriend and you get happy seeing them happy but when they show you a picture you have no idea how to react. So you just go quiet and change the topic. 

YMBAI you thought romantic love was a social construct indoctrinated early and enforced by peer pressure to get people to pair up and form nuclear families. 

I hadn't really thought about a lot of the characters mentioned. actually I don't even recognise some of them 

On 28/06/2017 at 6:53 PM, SamwiseLovesLife said:

Light Yurigama from Deathnote (Just started watching it so I don't know about later on)

I would agree with this. Most of the relationships he has are more like friendly-ish colleague type ones if I remember rightly (It has been a while since I read or watched it) 

Glad to see Dean Winchester hasn't changed as the seasons progressed! I only watched til season 2 but he was definitely my favourite. 

I agree with everyone that Sherlock is ace/aro and so I avoid the fanfics because shipping fanfics are everywhere and always tend to turn sexual or romantic. 

I'm going to have to watch my favourite movies and shows again with new eyes. But there is one I can mention now, it is my most treasured headcannon: 28 Days Later is (the best in my opinion) non romantic love story. The movie is all about human connection and love under hardship (and infected rage non-zombies). Jim is aro, Selena is aro (and possibly romance repulsed), Hannah is aro! Everyone is aro! *throws glitter* 

And the kiss is explained as an 'I am so glad you are still alive and my life is much less in danger' platonic emotional outpouring.

I almost kinda think Newt Scamader is demiromantic or something.....

On 17/07/2017 at 5:39 AM, DeltaV said:

oops, I've noticed that ... we're repeating essentially the discussion from a year ago in this thread:

 

I noticed that reading through!

Personally I think just the colour scheme and an arrow. I saw a great picture of a dragon hugging an arrow as a representation of aromantics, though I think it was the old flag with the yellow stripe... 

as long as the only colours on the image are the greens, white, gray and black with an arrow somewhere it would be kind of obvious and interesting if you were searching for it. The you can do almost anything. An aro coloured rainbow with arrows of sunlight! 

Stripes of colour would be easier to recognise as I just had the thought of a t-shirt I saw of a hunter in camo with a crossbow which would technically fit my idea above of just a colour scheme.