DeltaAro

I'm now playing Lies of P which is set in a dark fantasy Belle Époque city, and you play a cute Pinocchio who looks a bit like Timothée Chalamet. 😃

It has very difficult elites sometimes and contrary to the bosses, the spawn point is far away for them.

On 9/13/2023 at 2:47 AM, Balfrog said:

Been playing Sable, which is basically all the parts of breath of the wild I was interested in with no combat. It is kinda buggy sometimes tho, but so far nothing annoying. I could really do without Simoon whimpering due to my bad driving though.

This feels like Mœbius + Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind + Nier Automata !!

I only know that I don't like MacBooks 🍏. I just open the terminal, then Emacs never leave it. 😄 Can't stand the rest of the OS.

Tablets are great for stand-alone painting, but they have so little RAM! 🖌️

I most like powerful desktops.

My favorite desktop manufacturer is system76.

1 hour ago, roboticanary said:

anyhow, best computer is a lady who does all the maths for you. cant beat tradition.

My great-grandma was a computer. No, seriously!

On 9/26/2023 at 1:29 AM, Lovebird said:

"Romance oppression" is a thing though.

I'm aware that this was a very controversial take. But I thought about it a long time and don't give up yet. 🙂

Everyone knows sexual oppression exists, it's pervasive and it's everywhere. "Romantic oppression" OTOH is something aros / aces postulated for the sake of symmetry*.

* "Romantic oppression" gets you 250 Google search results, while "sexual oppression" gets you 150,000.

But we still abide to the dichotomy of "good sex" and "bad sex" - with "bad sex" of course I don't mean really bad, and instead consensual / solo activities without any direct harm.

It's just enough to postulate some indirect social harm without evidence, and it's fair game to shame and insult other people.

Basically, we overcame one flawed idea, the "unnaturalness" (Thomas Aquinas), and replaced it with another one, "objectification" (Immanuel Kant).

I don't see an equivalent "romantic oppression" in this sense.

Of course, we can say that aros are victims of "romantic oppression". But it's not like aros do "bad romance". Instead, they don't do it at all or not enough. Therefore, amatonormativity is a far better term

On 9/26/2023 at 1:29 AM, Lovebird said:

Queer, disabled and interracial couples have been bullied, mocked and harassed in the streets for simply holding hands

It is assumed that romantic couples have sex, so I suspect sexual oppression is in fact behind it.

That's also why the LGBTQ+ movement of the 2010s de-emphasized sex and heavily emphasized romantic love.

Some overly sneaky conservatives countered it with "Loving another man isn’t sinful, engaging in unnatural sexual acts is sinful" (straight from the horses' mouth).

On 9/26/2023 at 1:29 AM, Lovebird said:

disabled people cannot get married without being forced to sacrifice their pensions because the government thinks we're already useless enough.

I don't believe the motivation here was policing romance like sex is policed all the time.

Some of these laws are very old and go back to times when eugenics was acceptable. It might have been intended as a blunt instrument to discourage disabled people getting children.

TMI TMI TMI So I feel sexual attraction (pan, or actually skoliosexual) and not rarely, which makes me not asexual. But it can sometimes just go literally nowhere when reciprocated. 😞Like partially aego / akoi. So maybe graysexual fits.

On 9/10/2023 at 7:13 PM, Holmbo said:

I ID as aroace but the ace part took me really long to figure out. I'm sex positive and I enjoy depictions of sex in media when it's done well.

"Sex depictions done well". Do you mean "aesthetic"?

In that case, while it looks beautiful, those depictions are really wildly unrealistic.

Maybe a tiny minority of humans are such demigods of gracefulness and elegance (e.g. the scene in Atomic Blonde with Charlize Theron and Sofia Boutella = perfection, LOL) that they have sex like this. Also, they always instinctively know about the intentions of their partner, never have to stop and spell it out.

The reality is more prosaic and sometimes even awkward.

On 9/10/2023 at 7:13 PM, Holmbo said:

There's also an element of sensual attraction which is hard to distinguish from sexual sometime.

Sexual is IMHO more active and goal driven, but that's not necessarily true for everyone.

6 hours ago, Keith said:

Darwin's game...???

LOL, I don't know this anime but read a description and I kind of understand why you suspected it. So you get 2nd 🥈 prize, but it wasn't intended.

The solution is: 🌍➡️🌍📱 = "In Another World With My Smartphone"

I'd like to clarify what I mean with "be nice to alloromantics". Of course, attacking innocent persons for no reason than that they're different from you is inexcusable. Refraining from that isn't "nice" but the bare minimum of civilized interaction.

But then there's this constant ranting and bickering about romance, where no person is directly targeted. While I find this very relatable, for people who strongly identify with romance (probably most alloromantics), this can be bewildering, insulting and hurtful.

So with "being nice to allos" I meant this extra step of applying some sensitivity regarding their feelings.

On 9/18/2023 at 8:47 AM, Lovebird said:

Calling out ableism within the aro community is so exhausting. 

Though the love = madness trope wasn't invented by aros. You could say it's part of an ableist shared culture, and aros just (unsurprisingly) picked it up.

On 9/16/2023 at 8:46 PM, Firebird said:

Not what I implied, not going to clarify what's already clear.

But you're also living in your own bubble (like everybody), and it's not clear if your experiences truly can be really generalized.

I suspect it has something to do with emotional maturity. So maybe it's like that for those teens or college students who are relatively carefree and over-fixated on romance. Those people may never even intend friendship. While in most cases, you know that pretty soon there are also those risk-adverse guys who drag it on.

More emotionally mature people don't do this and develop friendships for various reasons. Like for example, sometimes we get help from a person, who might be of the "wrong" gender.

It's kind of sad to believe that it's always just romantic / sexual feelings behind it. To take some random example, Edward Snowden was given shelter and hidden from the authorities by a poor Filipina woman in Hong Kong. So even in these circumstances, it would be fake when he calls her a friend? We must assume hidden romantic feelings. It can't be other feelings of sympathy. Sorry, I don't believe that.

On 9/18/2023 at 8:47 AM, Lovebird said:

I really don't like this current trend insulting allos for doing absolutely nothing considered actually 'bad'.

I'm all for being nice towards alloromantics. But I also dislike those convoluted justifications where people try to find some oppressed group (like queer alloromantics) you accidentally hurt by bickering and ranting about allos.

Well, the focus of repression was always firmly on sexuality. Not romance. Like in Victorian times they really loved this ideal of same-gender "romantic friendship" (think Mina and Lucy in Dracula) when at the same time homosexuality was highly scandalous at best and punishable by years of hard labor at worst.

And sex is still the focus today. We have the abortion ban in southern US states (absolutely shocking since Roe v. Wade was the law of the land for fifty years!). Before that FOSTA-SESTA, or in Europe the creeping Nordic model or nowadays Orwellian-named "equality model" of sex work etc.

It's always, really always the "sex part" that gets targeted by criminal law, never the "romance part".

So yes, let's be nice to alloromantics. I'm all for it. But we should do it out of basic decency. And don't invent those weird stories about "romantic oppression". Contrary to sexual oppression, that's not a thing.

Also, the insulting and ranting here and on other aro online places is rather mild compared to what other groups do. I constantly come across stuff like "the problem with the male suicide rate is that it's not high enough LOL" on Twitter as some edgy satire ("it's ok because men are privileged").

If aros behaved like this, we would make fun and tease alloromantics, who are lovesick or who were harmed by romantic partners etc. I haven't observed something like this.

On 9/15/2023 at 4:20 AM, LeGens said:

Anyway, I hate the fact that romance is one basic need to acquire maturity in the eyes of society. You can study, work, travel far from home alone, but it will always be like you are missing something or like if you are 'not ready' to be in a relationship. 

I sometimes wonder if I would feel less immature if I had a high-stakes job like surgeon, firefighter, air controller, and so on. Everything I do is meticulously reviewed. And then tested by automatic testing and then human testers. Every error I produce will be caught by this paranoid process.

And it's about math, which is basically like an advanced version of what I do since I was six years old, which was also math. Not a totally new thing in an exciting environment. Sorry, if that sounds like humblebragging, but I mean it.

But it seems work is at least irrelevant for society, and it really just boils down to romantic stuff.

"Friendzone" is one of those terms that should not even exist.

It is deliberately designed to be confusing - not in a funny but in a spiteful manner (similar to "nice guy").

Because we do not know if we mean:

1. friendship mixed with unrequited romantic feelings OR
2. a manipulative tactic (where it's not even clear who manipulates whom!)

So I don't know what you want to achieve.

But if you want clarity, you have to communicate that you aren't interested in dating and rather don't wait for it.

And if you don't believe his denials, then cut off the contact. Or do it right away.

On 9/14/2023 at 1:03 AM, Ikarus said:

I would like to hear your thoughts on some of the answers in this interview video. I think its interesting to hear allos answer to this question. Obviously the answer to this question at the end is incredibly amatonormative.  "As we can see after interviewing everyone in the library, it is impossible for men and women to be just friends and under no circusmstances can it happen." But it sounds like the guy says this somewhat jokingly by the tone of his voice when he says, we can clearly see after interviewing just a few folks in a library. 

But I have more thoughts regarding the video as a whole: I wasn't there when he did the cut. I haven't seen the raw source material. Everything that didn't fit the narrative may have been cut out.

Also: this guy really likes to vaunt being "politically incorrect" - but strangely, he stops halfway. What about differences in sexual attractiveness? That must be a factor, right? And here we just have conventionally attractive college-aged women...

On 9/14/2023 at 3:45 AM, Firebird said:

For once, I'm going to have to side with the men here, and say that gynophilic men and women can't be friends. I had to ditch all of my gynophilic male friends because of romantic feelings for me. It's easy to pretend that romantic feelings can just stay as nothing more than feelings. However, what eventually happens (in my experience) is the dude that has caught these feelings starts acting in a way that is toxic, manipulative, unethical, whatever the hell he thinks is necessary to make something happen that can't happen.

So if you're pan, you can't be friends with anyone?

7 hours ago, Firebird said:

(dating used very broadly here, cause I still crave sexual relations)

I guess that "confuses" them, to put it very nicely. But remember: it's not your fault!!

1. - 3. could be a clumsy attempt at PUA / NLP manipulation techniques. Or behavior caused by mental disorders, sounds like borderline and schizotypal PD.

4. - 7. some allos exhibit such behaviors if they're extremely desperate and obsessively fixated, but this is considerably outside the norm.

22 hours ago, Firebird said:

Spot on 😅. I dress very unconventionally, and I hang out with a lot of nerds, because I am one myself. It's also important to note that this kind of behavior happens regardless of gender, however, women and femme enbies get pulled into it faster because I actually am willing to have sex with them and more, I presume. What exactly do you mean by Manic Pixie Dream Girl-ing?

I guess something like this: believing that you're that quirky, cheerful special girl that will lighten up their lives, pull them out of their depressing existence...

(looked at examples for movies here and found out that I instinctively avoided most movies with that trope)

Probably your aro-ness eggs them on. But to this degree? I would be scared.

On 9/7/2023 at 7:53 PM, Nix said:

Well I almost lost hope but Jedi: Survivor finally has an update that fixes the performance issues! Sadly still really buggy on ps5, but hey, at least the framerate doesn’t drop to 20 frames per second whenever a lot is going on at once ¯\-(ツ)-/¯ 

Baldur's Gate 3 is probably not as bad as Jedi: Survivor, but it's far from a great experience to play something this buggy, which it otherwise would be. I put it down for now. @BlueMycena it's even buggier on PS5.

I was very hyped up for Starfield, but it's supposed to be rather mid. 😭

So for now I'm playing a puzzle game Turing Complete where you incrementally build your own computer (it also has a sandbox mode). This game is ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ for everyone who's interested in that stuff.

On 9/4/2023 at 9:54 PM, castletalk said:

Hey! I'm Castle, I use he or she pronouns, and I'm an aro lesbian. I've known I'm on the aro spectrum for basically as long as I've been in my 20s, but there's been a tragic lack of aro people in my real life (that I know of), so I'm looking forward to talking to you all!

Hi, nice to meet you!

On 8/31/2023 at 7:28 PM, BlueMycena said:

I'm gonna play Baldur's Gate 3 when it comes out on ps5.

I bought it on PC this time, though I prefer PS5, but the KBM support is again going to suck i.e. not implemented.

Just like with Diablo IV. Why, just why, is there no KBM support for PS5... I mean, you can plug in any old KBM in the PS5, that's one of the great things about it.

On 5/11/2023 at 12:19 AM, TheApothiAroace said:

Salad wrap with mayonnaise 

Yum!!

Candied Ginger?

4 hours ago, kbby said:

All questions are anonymous!!!

I see ya!

3 hours ago, Firebird said:

What kind of tea do you drink?

2nd Flush Darjeeling. I also like to drink Da Hong Pao.

13 hours ago, christianphillips said:

While AI has its awesome uses in various cultural domains, I lean towards thinking of it as a tool rather than the purest form of art. There's something magical about human imagination and the uniqueness we bring to our creations. AI technology can't replicate the quirks and soul that humans infuse into their art. It's what makes each piece so darn special! 

Then we should be able to distinguish human art from AI art... but we can't.

8 hours ago, Holmbo said:

I'm thinking in the future artists will distinguish themselves from ai art by bringing in their own life experiences in their art. This is already done in a lot of cases but it will be even more explicit. There will be services that verify that the art is based on the artists real life experience, for example by looking at documentation or holding interviews.

I find this approach more undignified than just accepting some AI generated art as art.

For me, a piece stands for itself. No matter who the artist was, even if there was none, and it was "just" an AI.

It reminds me of the infamous forger Wolfgang Beltracchi, who produced a fake "undiscovered painting" by famous Dutch-German expressionist artist Heinrich Campendonk.

Wolfgang Beltracchi: Red Painting with Horses

There was an inconsistency regarding a sticker on the frame that triggered an investigation. A chemical analysis was ordered, which revealed the truth. But only because a supplier sold him white paint with an undisclosed titanium compound, which wasn't used back then.

It dropped dramatically in value, from €2.9 million to €10.000.

This just shows how pathological our attitudes to art are, or the art market is in general, IMHO.

This piece was praised by critics to no end, when it was believed it was a real Campendonk. And now they're all: "it was obvious".

It's a personality cult in which a piece is never accepted for its own merits.

On 8/4/2023 at 6:01 AM, Ikarus said:

So, what was it like being kissed outside the fam? On the lips kissing? What was the context? Funny or awkward stories?

Lip-kissing is so romance-coded but so expected ... it took me a long time to enjoy it or even to accept it.

My first sexual experience was with a boy, and he wanted to kiss me on the lips. I refused and just allowed him to kiss my body (first outside the fam). He was the only one who just accepted it. For anyone else, they made a big drama that I refused.

My first "real" kiss came later, which is probably unusual. It was with my first "girlfriend" and so awkward and uncomfortable, because I felt no romantic attraction.

IDK why lip-kissing is so popular. The physical sensation isn't even that great.

On 8/4/2023 at 6:01 AM, Ikarus said:

I don’t mind kissing woman, femboys, or even certain types of men. I prefer kissing either woman or femboys, actually preferably femboys.

Astolfo. 😄 I also strongly prefer non-binary or agender people with androgynous presentation, but they're rare. Kissing also doesn't feel so damn cliché then.

11 hours ago, Firebird said:

Wait, TERFs are going after aros now? What the actual fuck 😭

That's new to me, too. The only self-identified TERF that I know who mocked aros is Ophelia Benson.

On 8/19/2023 at 9:20 PM, bluster kong said:

Title is pretty self explanatory, is there any reason? I feel like all it would be would be a semi awkward conversation that wouldn’t end up having any real affect on anything but I could be wrong. Being aro doesn’t really affect me in my day to day life so I don’t see why it would affect anyone else

I want my friends to better understand me and my choices in life. Also, it's just more authentic.

They suspect that we experience romantic attraction like them, but just suffer from an anxious and avoidant personality.

If we finally find a partner, we'll experience love and connection and be forever grateful to the people who pushed us out of our comfort zone.

On 8/19/2023 at 9:43 PM, SwiftySpeedy said:

i feel like im going insaine

24 minutes ago, Green Bean said:

First time posting art here, I did some quick summer vibe doodles and weird bugs!!! I wanna do some aro themed stuff soon tho, hopefully I can find time to do that.

That would be great!!

There's also a gallery of aro art (many of it high-res or vector, which you can't post here) 👉 HERE.

There are no restrictions to get included, except it should be aro-themed and not be overly NSFW.

From a secular standpoint, death can mean the event of dying and the state of non-existence. This muddles the waters: Do we fear the event or the non-existence?

We observe that the vast majority of people strongly fear death as an event and endure a lot to avoid it. Because of the loss it means to us. Of course there are exceptions, like Socrates or Seneca for example, but those are considered especially wise.

So I'm a bit skeptical that this can be so easily separated from the fear of "death as state". It's easy to say when you're young and healthy ...

Fear of death-as-state is usually attacked by the famous argument of Epicurus:

"If I am, then death is not. If Death is, then I am not. Why should I fear that which can only exist when I do not? Long time men lay oppressed with slavish fear."

But first, emotions aren't rational or irrational anyway, only in a metaphorical sense.

Second, his axiom: "It is irrational to fear what you can't experience" is strange. Why do people write a will? Or when a dying mother fears for the future of her children, this would be considered "irrational" too by Epicurus' axiom. So his argument has some serious holes.

8 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Lots of my family is dead, it happens to everybody.

IMHO, just because something happens to everybody, it doesn't make it better.

Of course, it is in some sense good advice to accept what cannot be changed. The problem is that it is impossible to find out "what really cannot be changed" with absolute certainty.

E.g. @SwiftySpeedy now is into cryonics. I'm very strongly convinced that with current technology this doesn't work, but there's a chance I'm wrong. There is no big temptation for most people because it is widely regarded as a fraud.

8 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

In my culture death is just another part of life.

And on one reading this is true, but trivial and uninteresting: death is the limit of life and belongs to it this way.

But in a more serious sense, it is doubtful: if materialism is true then death terminates life under any sensible understanding (consciousness), so the state of being dead does not belong to life.