While you can change your body, you can't change it on a whim, like a shapeshifter. So this is just something you have to accept.

I would like for people to have no gender, but that's not going to happen either.

On 11/2/2023 at 1:02 AM, BloodLust said:

My gender is determined by what body I want to have.

I don't really see a question in your post. But maybe reevaluate if "gender" might not include other things for you like clothing, behavior, etc. ?

Erikson's stages of psychosocial development

Look at early Adulthood ...

Isn't a whole life stage dedicated to romantic love a bit too much? 😾

I find it funny that this model is supposed to be totally serious. But aros crash it.

P from Lies of P.

Aroace. I love this character so much.

The game has three different endings. In one of the endings, which I got ("Rise of P") and is considered (??) the best ending, he does something that could theoretically be interpreted as romantic.

I like the "Free from the Puppet String" ending much more. For me, it's the canonical ending. LOL.

On 10/24/2023 at 9:29 AM, nonmerci said:

I think about it as the non-binary relationship, if that helps. If you take gender, you have the whole non-binary spectrum that defies the idea that you have to be either a girl or a boy. In this spectrum, you have agender people, bigender people, demiboys, demigirls, etc. Depending on the specific label, they can have things in common with male and female gender, or be completely disconnected from them. However, they all have in common one thing : they are neither a boy or a girl.

Can you have multiple separate relationships with the same person at the same time? Normally you can!

I wonder 🤔: can you have a QPR 💚 with someone and also have a romantic relationship ❤️ with them?

Or are QPRs supposed to be exclusive in this sense? Honest question! I guess... they are exclusive?

Yum

Halva?

On 10/24/2023 at 7:17 AM, Nix said:

I’ve finished ‘Kirby and the Forgotten Land’ (So cute, really intense final stretch of the game. Also, it took me until the final boss fight to realise I could dodge? Here I was running poor Kirby’s little legs off…)

In Stellaris, 50 hours in, I learned that CTRL+SHIFT-Click bumps an order for a ship to the front of the queue without cancelling the rest. This was a game changer.

In Diablo IV, 30 hours in, I learned that you could just hold the button to repeat base and core skills. 🙈🙈

I never watch those "10 Things You Need to Know Before You Play" videos. 😄

On 10/26/2023 at 6:27 AM, Neon said:

I'm not playing it yet, but I'm super excited for this december bc I'm going to get the remastered Submachine game!

I'm waiting for Pioneers of Pagonia where early access comes out in December. The demo obviously looks a bit unpolished, but this is pre-alpha. So it's promising and already has the iconic bustling look.

I'm reading README.txt: A Memoir by Chelsea Manning, and I'm nearly finished. It's a very important book by a very brave person.

Obviously, it centers about her motivations for becoming a whistleblower, how she did it, the truth about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the extreme punishment she had to endure.

But in equal measure it's also a biography and about her life as a queer person and her transition. I guess I understand a bit better how gender identity is so important for people, though it's still rather mysterious for me.

W. K. Haselden, published in The Mirror (1919).

Finished Lies of P !! Took me 45 hours to reach "Rise of P ending", did all side quests.

It mostly maintains the quality with no fillers. The story is a (wild) reimagination of the novel, but it's still really great.

So much recommended, but with a disclaimer: they overdid the difficulty late game, so it became a bit of a slog (IMHO).

E.g. the Door Guardian boss is ultra annoying since it has huge reach, wonky hit boxes and causes shock, which breaks your stamina regeneration. Also, it has a one-minute run back.

😠

The final boss, Nameless Puppet, is also the hardest boss of the game. It's worse than Isshin, the Sword Saint from Sekiro.

2nd phase (7:30) = nightmare.

OK, theoretically the boss is optional to finish the game, but then you get the bad ending.

---------

Now playing:

Lords of the Fallen

31 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

That's odd. Did she say what exactly it was that triggered her? Speaking as a bi aro myself, I don't think this is at all an issue of allos vs. aros vs. aces or what have you, it sounds like an issue of her personal boundaries and trauma. Unfortunate that this happened but I wouldn't overthink it.

It's strange that a mere lackluster experience should trigger such deeper underlying issues.

1 hour ago, Ikarus said:

I want a monogamous relationship without romantic ownership expectations, and without infatuation being expected from the two of us. On a side note why is infatuation such a big deal in romantic relationships? Is it possible to love an allo in a qpr without allos insisting on you falling in love with them? 

Possible? Yes. Certainly, such relationships exist. Still, I believe the odds are stacked against you, and they just seem common because there are so much more allos around.

No matter whom I asked IRL, and also in all dating guides that I read, it's usually "if after X you don't feel that spark, forget it". And X may be as early as "first date".

Also, allos often grow very concerned when they did something romantic and the response was nice but lukewarm. They seriously give each other the advice, "dump him / her".

Just browse Reddit's /r/dating_advice.

They so much obsess about the "feelings", "vibe", "chemistry" and "connection". I'm very skeptical of Reddit, but it can't be all LARPING.

PS (to make it all about ME): QPRs feel way too much like romantic relationships to me. Now, my friends are invited to stay overnight, but I can't imagine having someone around 24/7 all the time. This sounds worse than living in barracks. I'm always surprised about this notion that most aros desire a QPR.

58 minutes ago, DaviM703 said:

However, she was trying to get me to climax for a long time without succeeding and was apparently so triggered by some part of the experience that she now feels the need to not see me again and has blocked me everywhere we talked.

I would never have sex with friends because of this, which is a nightmare scenario. Allos just take it way too seriously (not serious in the "responsible behavior" way, which is sometimes rather lacking, but in the "emotional baggage" way).

Anyway, I know how it feels when sexual attraction just dissipates into nothingness, and it doesn't have something to do with the other person. Still, I wonder how she could take it so extremely personally. If she's "experienced" she must have encountered such situations. I could only understand this behavior from someone very immature and insecure.

Very sad ☹️, I wish you the best, but it's very unlikely she'll change her mind.

3 hours ago, Holmbo said:

I haven't thought about that. It makes sense but for some reason I just considered Aros being aplatonic.

But ... why? Honest question!

The white stripe in the aro flag originally even stood for platonic love.

And with 1K posts here, you probably know that the mainstream understanding of "platonic" (= sexual and romantic desires would normally be present and expected but are actually suppressed or sublimated) is not the aro/ace understanding ?

PS: I always feel another word for platonic attraction would be great. The aro usage is very different from mainstream usage, and also different from what Plato had in mind.

Can't we use another ancient, revered holy language besides Greek and Latin?

In Sanskrit, friendship means mitratā...

Mitratic attraction... mitrate attraction.

Oh dear, that sounds dangerous!

On 10/17/2023 at 10:13 PM, who_knocks said:

So a person won't be lonely if they're aplatonic? I've stressed a lot about having to make new friends even though I never personally felt the drive to because everyone tells me I'll be lonely if I don't, is that not the case?

If you don't feel loneliness yourself, that what matters. Not that other people tell you that you must feel lonely.

PS: I don't know if it's a good idea to use / explain "aplatonic" to non-a* people:

• If you tell them, it means you don't desire friends, they probably regard you as traumatized or jaded.
• If you tell them it means you don't feel platonic attraction, they won't understand it at all.
• If you tell them it means you don't experience squishes, they first won't understand it, and then after having explained "squish", probably find it strange there's even a word for this.

5 hours ago, Nix said:

Wow it’s huge 😳 It kind of looks like a still from a video game, I love the colours and composition! Also so many references :)

Thanks!!

5 hours ago, Nix said:

It you want a suggestion, all I can say is have another look at your Artemis statue: Something is off about the way she is holding that bow. I think you may have given her two left hands? Unless that is a reference to something I missed 😅

Aros have two left hands? Can't be!

No, it was a mistake... how embarrassing.😅 I quick-fixed it, thanks for pointing it out!

I guess because the sculpture lacks contrast, it slipped through.

On 10/13/2023 at 1:05 PM, Bellu said:

Anyway why do parents do that?

Funny, my parents never did that. But other relatives like my sister.

Possible explanations:

• It's wishful thinking because they want you to be in a relationship 💒.
• It's a sort of teasing. They find it funny to hear your denials 🤗.
• It's a compliment. Some alloromantics like to feel desirable by having many people who crush 💌 on them.

On 10/11/2023 at 4:01 AM, Confused Opossum said:

i’m able to create art and things that i like :)

You can post your artworks here, if you want.

My last artwork didn't get any attention, though I put so much time into it. But as you say, it's ok if oneself likes it. 😃

On 10/11/2023 at 4:01 AM, Confused Opossum said:

also, i’m apparently good at doing accidental mario impressions 

Very handy skill!

On 9/10/2022 at 7:20 PM, Jeeperz_ said:

You can make butter that is an edible. I have no idea how I didn't know this until now, but I cannot get over the idea of buttering up a full course meal and being absolutely baked after. Imagine having steak and potatoes or some bs and then being high out of your mind. I cannot stop laughing

Of course, we would make garlic bread 🧄 with cannabutter!

That's a lot of different issues, wildly varying in severity.

Some of it is just your personality, and without any concern. Like that you tend to procrastinate.

Some of it sounds like OCD, autism or Asperger's. But at least those tend to remain relatively stable over time.

Some of it is concerning, like:

On 10/6/2023 at 4:16 PM, BloodLust said:

I feel like inanimate objects watch and judge me, and can hear my thoughts 99% of the time. This causes me to feel like I'm in a show of some sort, and the inanimate objects are cameras and the audience, and the audience is nice in my mind when I imagine myself in a show. But when I'm not, the inanimate objects just watch and judge me negatively.

Sorry, but this might be a prelude to psychosis. Which can get worse in a short time and then lead to dangerous behaviors like self-harm.

18 hours ago, br0k3np0rc3lain said:

I've always had relationship problems. All of my past relationship have been short and toxic.

I only had ONE relationship, which was short and extremely toxic.

18 hours ago, br0k3np0rc3lain said:

I'm always getting rejected. Nobody seems to love me. 

Don't take this personally.

While I support the freedom and choices of people who feel romantic attraction, I still personally believe that romantic attraction is more shallow than platonic attraction.

Anyway, your value as a person is not determined by being romantically (or sexually) attractive.

Also, there's love beyond "romantic love".

18 hours ago, br0k3np0rc3lain said:

Am I on the aroace spectrum or am I just mad that nobody will ever want me?

There's no aro-meter that can measure your aromanticism. Does aromanticism "click" with you or not?

4 hours ago, Neon said:

I feel strong familial/platonic love and the whole "aros can still feel love" thing pisses me off to no end. It feels like I'm being used as a shield against criticism of loveless antagonism (I'm curious if anyone else feels this way and/or aros who feel romantic love sense that with "aro people can still date"? or if it's more a me thing). And it feels like I'm expected to make up for my romantic attraction with it. AND it feels like alloros expect me to express platonic love the way they express romantic love even though it's not anywhere near similar to romantic love.

One of the first nice mainstream articles about aromanticism was titled "Aromantics just want to be your friend". LOL, that we went from there to "aros can still feel love" ...

It would still be exclusive, because some aros DO NOT, but at least it doesn't use that word love. Which nowadays means romantic love 98 % of the time.

3 hours ago, Confused Opossum said:

i agree. i see the whole “we can still love” argument as an attempt to please alloros and fit into amatonormative standards…. while pushing loveless aros and aros who feel little to no attraction under the bus. 

1. Yes, it's to please allos. Not sure if that's the most important factor, though.
2. Some aros imagine the aro community being their perfect "platonic dating pool". Loveless aros disturb this romanticized 😄 view.
3. The distinction between "loveless" and "empathyless" is not much explored, and the two get easily confused.

fuchsia

Imgur.com has a very negative community, that tends to downvote everything slightly unusual.

You only get easy upvotes if you post fan art for an established franchise or memes / polarizing political stuff.

Aro Vaporwave Vibes

Painted in Krita!

This took me a long time. 🙈 I hope you like it and look at it in its glorious full resolution of 6.4 x 7.3 K pixels !! 🤩 It is packed with aro and ace references.

Also, here the "Artemis with racoon" standalone detail:

This is totally anachronistic, since racoons are from the new world, but they are an ace pride animal, so who cares.

And another stereotypical ice-cream eating aromantic aardvark:

I'm getting better, but not as much as I hope to.

Criticism and suggestions welcome!!

38 minutes ago, Helion said:

Some time ago I finally finished Persona 5, an absolutely amazing game. Romance kinda plays a big role in it, but you can literally skip all of it, which I did (I tend to joke about how I chose the "aromantic route" of the game).

This was very high on my gaming list, but I heard about the romance and so lost interest. But if an aro playthough is possible, I might try it. This is, Persona 5 Royal.

41 minutes ago, Helion said:

Sooo I couldn't help but to draw her with the aro colors because yes. It's not a great piece imo, it was rather rushed, but I still wanna put it out there! ^^

Looks beautiful!