Louis On Air

It feels good to return to YouTube! If I can just figure out a way to do it while on a road trip.

So I just found out that that my newest friend is aromantic, which is actually just a bonus to all the other stuff we have in common. Get in!

The Aromantic flag is forever immortalised on r/place on reddit at the coordinates (140,600)

I've got school tomorrow after the Easter holiday and I stayed up last night because friends were round but I didn't want to and I dread tomorrow morning.

@Dodgypotato's new profile pic is my reaction to leaving the EU

So my mum came into my room 45 minutes ago to talk about how I interact with my peers out of school when she's looking. Now I do enough chatting in school and I'm happy with that and my mum also referenced a while ago when she met another mum on parents evening and I didn't say that much to my friend.

This year my headteacher made it non-school-uniform during study leave for my exams so from tomorrow onwards I won't wear school uniform which will be... interesting (this is a big deal for the UK) here's my plan:

Monday: dark green

Tuesday: light green

Wednesday: white

Thursday: grey

Friday: black

Yesterday an attempt to cheer someone up backfired and we both moved after acknowledging the misunderstanding. Today I have been unable to stop thinking about it or tell myself it's not my fault even though I know it isn't my fault and this is the only place where I can post that without anyone I know IRL reading it. WHY IS IT SO F***ING HARD FOR ME TO ACCEPT MY MISTAKES?

Maybe it's my Asperger's, maybe because I try not to treat people with mental health issues differently, but should I?

So on wednesday I made brief eye contact with the person who bullied and mentally broke me six years ago. Funny thing is the Ironside theme started playing in my head as if I was the Bride and had just found another member of the deadly viper assassination squad.

I have a piano assessment on Monday for GCSE Music and I was able to play the pieces well for my piano tutor today (I play great when alone but always mess up when she listens) and if I just know and appreciate that I can do fine then I will.

Ironically my solo piece is from the romantic era (there's also a baroque one where I accompany flute). But Monday is ages away and I should worry about my computing class being 95% lazy smegs.

Don't wish me luck, wish me effort and confidence (or don't, I'm the only one I rely on and that's how it should be)!

I'm just kind of thinking about how mental condition has affected me and things I do everyday because of it that would seem strange to others. It's something from birth that is only diagnosed once as permanent so like being Aromantic, I don't know what it feels like outside of it. I've often dismissed my problems and doubts because someone else who I know has it worse and I'm doing it now because I know what I need to do to fit in, and just do that.

Also I'm very academically focused because of it so I don't need as much support when I have a clear goal and don't stress out too much because I'm good at seeing the bigger picture. It's not a curable handicap or even baggage I drag around, it's just me.

The worry here is fitting into the adult world. I couldn't do anything retail and really I don't want any job that comes before university because they're not demanding thought and visualisation and solving problems which is my greatest asset. I don't even know why I'm suddenly thinking about this now and why I don't think about it more. And now I don't know how to end this.

In honour of International Women's day I'm going to tell you to google Ada Lovelace.

Tudaiy is thu daiy.

Me to Google: How to tell someone to improve their video quality like you would to anyone else but when you do they act like they're attacked for who they are and when you then avoid them they get offended and act like you've broken some trust even though you were keeping your distance from the start.

You know what my city really needs? A guided busway in the east and north where there's countryside so it could actually fit and provide rapid connection to neighbouring towns.

So I make maths based memes now and want to do one involving romance not making sense mathematically. Does anyone have any ideas? (It's @maths.meme on Instagram btw)

Before I go on holiday I have one thing to say: Christmas day will be the one day of the year my dad gets drunk and it will be one day too many.

I ran a lot for a complex film tracking shot then had to run to the city centre straight after to do a concert and the weather became super hot in the space of last week!

My simultaneous laughing, coughing and hiccuping has made me feel incredibly sick. Please send help.

*buzz buzz* Vote for me *buzz buzz* please *buzz*

I watched the first 2 episodes of the new series of Black Mirror and holy hell it broke me.

Some people I love made a new series of podcasts and I have 4 unlistenned to so I'm very happy!

I clapped thrice whilst riding my bike home and also thanks to everyone who gave me things to talk about in my LGBT club tomorrow, soon you'll know how it went

I love bank holidays because Sunday wasn't 'oh I need to do everything before tomorrow' and there's now a 4 day week

Today I officially began avoiding some people on the grounds that I can't keep putting on a front around them and I've stopped feeling fine when wearing a mask of cringey puns and caring about nothing. I don't want to drag myself down.