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Demisexual, but physical appearance matters to some degree :-?


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So... first things first. I can only end up desiring a boy sexually if I know him to some degree. We have to be at least buddies/colleagues on good terms. However, although I don't have to necessarily be aesthetically attracted to him in order for sexual attraction to occur, the way he looks still does matter to me. What I mean is that if I find his appearance repulsing, while I wouldn't say no to a friendship because I'm not judgmental, I'd never be able to sleep with him. I'm grossed out and I know for certain that if I dislike the way he looks, I'd never ever end up wanting to sleep with him, no matter what. In order for sexual attraction to occur, his appearance can vary anywhere from "normal" to looking fantastic. Otherwise nope. Just nope. Is this something normal or is this just my case?  

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I think it's fairly normal; many sexual people wouldn't do it with someone they didn't like on a visual level, either. While you don't experience primary attraction, you're still aware you have preferences of some kind :) for example, personally, while sexual attraction for me is quite rare, I've always disliked blonde guys to a larger degree than those with other hair colours (I have strong preferences for brown, ginger or black... basically anything but blonde lol), and don't like lots of facial hair (though if I met someone who I felt was 'right' for me, I could probably overlook the latter, but it would still depend on the style of facial hair and/or how it looked on them. A lot of them are still a big 'nope' for me).

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