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Feeling a fluctuation of sexual feelings from time to time

Guest Natty


Guest Natty

This is taking me a lot of guts to even ask, as it's something I've had to deal with since the onset of puberty in my younger years. I'm a cisgendered female who identifies as aroace with hardly any romantic attraction towards anyone except in some rare instances where I've questioned if I'm also demiromantic. I don't think about sex at all in my every day life, but my question is whether it's normal for cisgendered female aces to feel a more amplified with sexual feelings or thoughts before and after a menstrual cycle?

I definitely have, since I was a teenager, felt physical changes in my body and also emotional changes during the estimated period of when my body is apparently preparing or in the process of ovulation. I can see from a biological standpoint it is the body's response to try to create favorable conditions in the hopes of sexual contact with the opposition gender so a pregnancy can occur.

I've always felt frustrated that I'm being made to be interested in sex on a biological level and it's not even of my own choosing. The sexual drive was troublesome because often I'd feel sexually interested but never in anyone in particular. In the rare case where I have and/or currently still feeling romantic attraction to one person in particular, now during these periods of increased sexual interest, I find myself sexually attracted to the actual person which is unheard of for me. When I am not in the ovulation cycle, the most I feel around this person is maybe a mild curiosity about them sexually only because I am romantically attracted to them, but also feeling a bit sex-aversive in that I can't see myself engaging with them sexually because I feel shy/unsure about it. I feel like I am going crazy questioning how I can be ace if I have these periods of fluctuating sexual attraction and a seemingly increases desire to have sex.

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