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Am I aromantic if I'm 16


Guest yakaro

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I wanted to know what the age was for developing romantic feelings. I have had sexual feelings for years but I don't think I had romantic ones. There was once two very seperate days where I had felt different? One of the days, I had a dream of having a girlfriend and kissing her( which usually seems gross to me) and the rest of the day I felt different. I think I might be aro spike because of this. But my question is kinda, can I still possibly develop romantic feelings in the future? Do romantic and sexual feelings develop at the same time usually. At what age can I say for certain that I am aro, and if any of you know, what does romantic feelings feel like? Answers will be much appreciated. 

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You can say for certain that you are aro at any age. There is no benchmark to pass. There are people here who realized they are aro at younger ages than sixteen, so don't feel like you are coming into this too early.

The question of if we will develop romantic feelings later, or if we will like the right person, gets posed to aros a lot. It's frustrating, because we can't prove that these things won't happen in the future. What we do know is that these feelings haven't occured yet, and we have no reason to think they ever will. Also, many people aren't too rigid on the definition. Most consider being aromantic to mean that someone never or rarely feels romantic attraction, not to mean that you lose your aro card if you ever think about having a relationship. You can think about kissing someone, and even kiss someone in real life, and still be aro.

Being aro doesn't automatically mean you are a loner either. Some aros still want companionship of some form. The relationships can follow different patterns than the norm, or they might look similar to a romance to the outside observer. The point is that aros don't experience romantic feelings, even in these relationships.

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It's been a while since I looked into this, so take this with a grain of salt.

If I remember correctly, most people experience "puppy love" in early elementary school, and start getting crushes in late elementary school/middle school. Crushes and sexual attraction typically close happen together, around the same time as puberty. But none of these are guaranteed.

To answer your final question, there is no age that is too young to be sure. At some point in the future, maybe you'll develop romantic attraction, but that doesn't mean you were wrong now.

I personally started questioning around 16, and used the label around 17, and I haven't been wrong just yet. I also think that had I had the words/knowledge, I could have been sure as early as 14.

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