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My mutual friend told me my crush is aro


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Guest Idk
Posted

So I’ve been talking to this girl for about seven months and today our mutual friend told me she’s aromantic and I’m getting a lot of mixed signals because said friend is straight and she’s not very good with terms. I remember our alignments were brought up in the first few weeks and I think she mentioned something on the aro scale but I’m not sure exactly what, and some of the things we’ve brought up have been very flirty and we text every single day multiples times and I’m really confused if she’s into me romantically and I just don’t really know much about the Aro spectrum as much as the ace spectrum, which I’m a part of, and I really don’t know how I’d even bring this up. Should I just try to drop feelings or is there a possibility she’d like me back?

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Posted (edited)

Just ask? Just say “hey are you aromantic?” There’s really no other way to know. 

Edited by Jot-Aro Kujo
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Posted

This is several weeks late so it may already be too late, but I wanted to reply to this too:

So weirdly enough, I'm in a similar situation, but on the other side. That is to say, I'm aromantic but I've become very close friends with a guy over the past few months who I sometimes wonder if he has a crush on me. And yes, I'd say asking is definitely the way to go, but you should also be clear to her how much your friendship to her means to you. I can't speak for every aro person obviously, but for me, friendships are very important to me, and if my aforementioned friend were to tell me he liked me and our friendship changed because I didn't like him back, I would be devastated because I love talking to him and spending time with him. I know that romantic relationships can at times just feel so much stronger and more desirable, but friendships are so very important, so please don't let this get in the way of being friends with her if you care about her. Yeah, it sucks when someone doesn't like you back, and I'm sorry about that, but I hope that doesn't prevent you from maintaining a relationship with her, even if it isn't the type that you might want.

It's also not completely out of the question that she might want a relationship with you. Some aromantic people do desire relationships, and there are other types of relationships other than just romantic ones. If you choose to tell her you like her, talk it out with her. Make sure she knows that her feelings are completely valid, and you will remain friends with her regardless. Be willing to listen to her side of things, and what she has to say. I know it's sometimes difficult, but communication really is key, especially when you're looking to begin a relationship. If she expresses interest in some sort of relationship, say a queerplatonic relationship, and you're okay with that too, then talk it out with her, set your boundaries, see what that means for both of you. 

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