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i think i was just asked out on a date! help

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Hello everyone, for context i am very much romance-repulsed and non partnering


so today a girl from my class asked if i wanted to go watch a movie with her this friday, i answered that i would like to, but i had to check my calendar.

well i pretty quickly realizes that this could be a date, although im not sure if it is. But now i just dont now what to do...

do i just go along and hope it isnt a date, because tbh shes really nice and i woud love to hang out with her.

or do i lie and say i cant that that day, or maybe i just text to confirm that it isnt a date...

i dont know what to do :(

if you have any advise please let me knowwww

((also for context, this new years she confesed to having liked me in the past, either this means she donst currently have a crush on me, or that she was just testing the water))

((also also, she dosnt know that im aroace, but she knows im queer, so she probebly thinks i like girls too))



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I would suggest confirming if this is a date or not. I know that can be nerve-wracking, but if you do want to hang out with her, you should make it clear that it's just platonic from your end. It's perfectly fine to go by gut instincts and to second guess if this is a date, because honestly some people just don't flat out ask others in a "Do you want to go on a date with me?" fashion anymore; this has always got on my nerves, but the people that do this don't do it out of malicious intent. To her (if  it is a date), she may be thinking that she is being loud and clear, but in my opinion if she still has feelings for you and is trying to go on a date with you, then she should be way more clear; because this also ends up as a detriment to the allo person in not calling the activity as it is to the other, because then the person they like may still just view them as a friend, and in this case that's literally so. For some allos, going out with them on what you don't know is a date would look like you're reciprocating to them, and it's just how I've seen some allos act and plus I have had this happen to me before. Hell, some allo friends of mine that had crushes on me would turn something that originally wasn't a date into a date during it and would still somehow end up surprised when I didn't return their feelings.

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It is pretty obvious she finds you interesting in some way, but other than that it is unclear to me what she actually expects out of it. She might have a romantic interest, she might see you completely platonic, or she might not even be entirely sure yet. In any case, if you actually want to hang out with her, I would recommend to accept her invitation without worrying too much about hypothetical untold interests.

In order to avoid a potential awkward situation because of different expectations, I suggest you text her before and express your view on the situation. You do not have to explicitly say you are aroace, but you should make it clear that you will not reciprocate romantic feelings. Perhaps you could write a message where you say you are open to going to the movie this Friday and will be happy to do so, but you feel unsure what exactly she is expecting out of this. Maybe you can say you do not want this to be a date or something like that because this comes with expectations you might not be able to fulfil.

I would advise against directly confronting her in the way of asking her if she has romantic intentions or was asking for a date. This just corners her or makes her feel caught. Simply let her know about your interests and what you want from her. If she finds your interests agree with her intentions, she will be happy about that, and if she realizes there are different intentions, you will find that out from her reaction. I think there is little for you at stake and much to gain, so just give it a chance.

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The best thing you can probably do is ask her, but maybe not just "Hey do you like me?" that would make anyone uncomfortable.Try to let her know how you feel, like maybe you should share how you wanted to be a close friend because she's so nice, so it doesn't hurt her at all but she gets you just want to be friends. If you don't feel you can come out to her, maybe try to gently say you aren't interested. The safest option is to be honest though, if you lie, she will probably find out and make your situation a whole lot harder. 

Don't take anything I say too much to heart I'm just some random person on the internet running on about 2 hours of sleep but I hope I could help a little :)


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