Am I aromantic?? Is this alterous attraction or romantic attraction??

[Guest wks123]

Sorry If I say something wrong

I was reading about it and everything sounds like Romantic attraction, but without the commitment part of it, like a open relationship, is like this ?? 

I've seen some people describing what they feel when they feel alterous attraction and for me it sounded like that 

Is not with all women, but there's some women that I feel "different" around, I feel nervous talking to them, I blush, I can't look at them in the eyes, I want to impress them ( telling a joke or something else), I daydream of scenarios where they are noticing me, I can't stop staring at them, whenever they're in a room with me, even in a room full of people I can feel their presence, I feel kinda of a "admiration" for them, even though I don't know them, I want them to think I'm cool, funny, pretty and etc, and like I said is with some specific women, I do want other people to find me cool and etc, but I don't think about them that much (does aromantic people feel this way ?? Is this romantic attraction??)

[TrueEvergreen]

Ive personally felt feelings similar to this, and i personally feel that they are alterous. However, these things could be signals of platonic, alterous, or romantic attraction.

Basically, these things don't necessarily mean that you feel romantic attraction to this person. 

[Guest Wks123]

2 hours ago, TrueEvergreen said:

Ive personally felt feelings similar to this, and i personally feel that they are alterous. However, these things could be signals of platonic, alterous, or romantic attraction.

Basically, these things don't necessarily mean that you feel romantic attraction to this person. 

What's the difference?? I've seen some people saying that they feel nervous around the person, they don't stop thinking about them, they blush and etc, and for me this is the signs that you have a crush on this person, no ? 

[TrueEvergreen]

3 hours ago, Guest Wks123 said:

What's the difference?? I've seen some people saying that they feel nervous around the person, they don't stop thinking about them, they blush and etc, and for me this is the signs that you have a crush on this person, no ? 

Honestly, im not sure, but from what i understand a lot of it is the desire to do romantic actions with/towards the other person. Ive also heard a lot of people i know that feel romantic attraction say that they just know. So if you aren't sure, then that might be a sign that it isn't romantic. 

However, i really have no idea, personally i just go with my gut on whether or not its romantic

[hemogoblin]

This is gonna be so frustrating to hear, but the difference between romantic and alterous attraction (and platonic attraction) is up to the individual. They're not objectively different things with hard drawn lines in between them. What makes an attraction type an attraction type is how the individual person feels about it. When you close your eyes and let your gut pick the term, what does it come up with? When you explore all the terms, which one just makes you feel the most comfortable? Which term are you most drawn to?

Kissing could be platonic, romantic, alterous, sexual, and/or a combo of those things. What makes it any of those is intent, which is completely subjective.

[CoolK]

On 12/10/2023 at 8:44 PM, hemogoblin said:

This is gonna be so frustrating to hear, but the difference between romantic and alterous attraction (and platonic attraction) is up to the individual. They're not objectively different things with hard drawn lines in between them. What makes an attraction type an attraction type is how the individual person feels about it. When you close your eyes and let your gut pick the term, what does it come up with? When you explore all the terms, which one just makes you feel the most comfortable? Which term are you most drawn to?

Kissing could be platonic, romantic, alterous, sexual, and/or a combo of those things. What makes it any of those is intent, which is completely subjective.

This it's all very subjective which is why I would be happy with a QPR or romantic relationship with a partner I am compatible with. I have to use external factors to figure out if my feelings for people are platonic, romantic or alterous because they are all very subjective and that makes them very confusing for me.