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My Friend Has Changed So Much


timidcat
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Ever since I learned about what asexual and aromantic is I used to think my best friend was ace and aro as well like me. Boy was I wrong. 

 

A year ago she didn't like romantic movies or stories and now she's all over them. Now she's making sex jokes but thank goodness they're not graphic. She's also claimed to have crushes on several guys.

 

It really hit me how much she's changed a few weeks ago. We were out with our other friends. Our other friend (let's call her X)  brought her friend along who we had never met before and he was a guy. As we were walking back home on our own my friend insisted that X and the guy she brought with her were in love. Later she told me that X had confessed to her that she had a crush on him, I kinda suspect that she made it up tbh. So I told her that the guy didn't look like he reciprocared.  They just acted like best friends. At first I did have my suspicions but as I saw that he acted friendly and over the top with everyone in the group I dismissed it. 

 

Then my friend became frustrated for some reason. She told me I was too logical and you can just tell when people are in love and you can feel it in your bones, I should open up my mind to thsee possibilities and yada yada yada. She told me some other things that hurt me (don't exactly remember what they were) but I know she didn't mean it. I was more shocked that she's not ace or aro like I thought she was. She's a year older than me (17) so I thought being a late bloomer was unlikely at this point. Before she used to understand me when I told her I didn't get romance or sex at all and now it's not like that anymore. I have basically no one in my life that I can relate to. 

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5 hours ago, SoulWolf said:

:(

That sounds really frustrating. Seems like she's enjoying the experience though... maybe she thinks if she talks about it enough, you'll "get it" as well, as if it's contagious or something.

Contagious like a disease? 😷

 

I didn't have an experience like this but recently one of my friends O has been hanging out with S waaay more and now she doesn't like talking about queer stuff anymore. She's one of my only queer friends (in real life) and I really valued being able to have the occasional conversations about it, it made me feel at home. Now that her straight friend S is attached to her she won't talk about that stuff anymore. I don't like their relationship as it is. I like S and I like hanging out with her but she's so clingy that I can't spend quality one on one time with O anymore and that hurts (and it's not just me either, her childhood friend K feels the same way).

 

Seriously though this really sucks. I'm sorry you don't have your friend to relate to and confide in about this stuff anymore :( I guess you'll have to spend more time on arocalypse with all of us awesome people who understand you :aropride:

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