aro or just trauma???

[mordo]

 

i can’t tell if i’m aromantic or just too scared to care about someone more than they care about me. i also don’t really consider anyone my friend for the same reason. i have a tendency to block out most of my emotions anyway and i’ve like constantly throughout my life been betrayed by people i thought were close friends and so now i just try to keep myself distant from anyone. i really want a partner and close friends but i also feel weird letting people get that close to me. i don’t know if i’m just blocking out attraction to “save myself” or if i’m aromantic and it’s a little confusing 

[kira-]

A lot of that sounds a bit similar to my situation w ppl, and I would consider myself Aroace. The best advice I can give is that if you feel like you want to use the aro label to describe u and you feel comfortable using it, then use it.

[hemogoblin]

4 hours ago, mordo said:

i don’t know if i’m just blocking out attraction to “save myself” or if i’m aromantic and it’s a little confusing 

Gonna be blunt as a caedromantic:

Functionally: what's the difference?

Is aro a useful term for you? If yes, use it. If no, don't. Identity isn't about the WHY. It's about HOW you feel.

And a label doesn't have to be useful to you forever. If aro is useful to you now but later (through whatever reasons), it's no longer applicable - then you just stop using it and use the term(s) that are useful to you.

And yes, that also means: it's fine if you aren't ready to ID as aro even if maybe you technically fit the definition. If alloro makes you feel better right now, then identify that way. Don't get hung up on technicalities. Do what feels right to you. Identity isn't about being correct or incorrect. It's just about you having a simple way to quickly communicate to others the gist of your feelings. That's it. So do what feels right to you.

[Guest]

Just think about if you want the idea of a romantic relationship or if u actually feel romantic attraction towards other people. Any trauma you may have could be causing this feeling of need for companionship, but I don't think it correlates with romantic desire.