Help (TW slurs)

[MaxIsCosmic]

I am a sophomore and I have a boyfriend who is the same age I am. I am white and he is black (this is important context for later). we are both on the aro spectrum and we are together a lot of the time in and outside of school. In my school district we have a free period at the end of the day for homework and we can pick what class want to go to. Him and I went to my math classroom to work on homework together. He had an audition for marching band after school and I could see he was nervous so I gave him a hug to help him calm down. Apparently someone recorded our hug without our permission and posted it to the internet with the caption “gay ass n*****” directed at my boyfriend. And apparently a lot of our school saw it because now we are both getting called the f slur in the hallways all the time and we brushed it off at first because it’s just something that comes with being openly gay (or bi in his case) but it hasn’t stopped at all and it’s kinda getting to me, I tried to report it to my school but they just accused me of making out with him in the school bathroom (which I have never done) and said if I didn’t want to be called that I should do that. Now i don’t know what to do I feel bad that he is getting called slur’s because of me even if I didn’t do anything on purpose he says he doesn’t blame me but is full feel bad plus I feel confused and angry that the school made up stories about us making out it feels kinda gross. I have kissed home before but that is at my house and not school even less the school bathroom. Is there any advice you can give me on what I should do if anything?

[hemogoblin]

Are your parents safe or are his parents safe? Having your parents escalate this up the ladder to the superintendent may net more effective results. (You and him can try reaching out to the superintendent yourselves, but having adults do it tends to be more effective because a lot of adults don't respect that kids are people who deserve to be listened to, unfortunately).

Are there any local or local-ish queer groups/orgs that you can find? Also any racial equality or black empowerment groups/orgs? Reach out to them for their support. They should have a good idea of the resources in your area or be able to help advocate for you. I'm sorry you and your boyfriend are going through this really scary situation. It's not at all okay.

[alto]

That's harassment.  I have no idea what to do about it, but that is harassment and the school should do something.

[MaxIsCosmic]

On 10/28/2023 at 10:43 PM, hemogoblin said:

Are your parents safe or are his parents safe? Having your parents escalate this up the ladder to the superintendent may net more effective results. (You and him can try reaching out to the superintendent yourselves, but having adults do it tends to be more effective because a lot of adults don't respect that kids are people who deserve to be listened to, unfortunately).

Are there any local or local-ish queer groups/orgs that you can find? Also any racial equality or black empowerment groups/orgs? Reach out to them for their support. They should have a good idea of the resources in your area or be able to help advocate for you. I'm sorry you and your boyfriend are going through this really scary situation. It's not at all okay.

My parents are definitely not safe and he only has his mom and we’re not entirely sure about her. We looked into queer and racial empowerment groups and we are going to some on Thursday thank you! 

[hemogoblin]

On 10/31/2023 at 9:31 AM, MaxIsCosmic said:

My parents are definitely not safe and he only has his mom and we’re not entirely sure about her. We looked into queer and racial empowerment groups and we are going to some on Thursday thank you! 

Hey, how did it go (if you want to answer)? Have things gotten better? <3

[MaxIsCosmic]

19 hours ago, hemogoblin said:

Hey, how did it go (if you want to answer)? Have things gotten better? <3

We still get called slurs sometimes but it’s a lot less we got some help from the one of the groups and they got the person who recorded the original video suspended. I feel a lot better and he seems happier thank you so much for the advice I feel like I can be myself in the school without as much shame. 

[hemogoblin]

6 hours ago, MaxIsCosmic said:

We still get called slurs sometimes but it’s a lot less we got some help from the one of the groups and they got the person who recorded the original video suspended. I feel a lot better and he seems happier thank you so much for the advice I feel like I can be myself in the school without as much shame. 

I am SO proud of y'all for reaching out and getting help. That's so huge, and I'm so glad you two were able to do that and that this group did help. That's amazing.

I wish things were totally a-okay, but I'm glad you're both doing better and are a bit safer! Thanks for sharing. <2