Finding out why I'm alone

[Anonymous]

hey guys,

I've been asking myself a question for years and avery now and then I realize that I'm trying to answer a question which is not for me to answer. 

FYI, I have been alone my entire life. I have came from a middle eastern country and a pretty religious family (muslem, although I don't consider myself to be religious at all).

I'm a short guy by any standard (165cm) and I have always thought the reason I suck at my romantic life is because of my height, even though I have heard no girl rejecting me because I'm short or maybe they were too polite. 

what I have been thinking about is a way to really know what generally girls think about me in the context of romantic relationships wihtout me asking them. Afterall, maybe the reason is not even related to my height and there is something else that I need to be aware of.

 

any idea would be appreciated ;)

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

First of all I think you're on the wrong site friend 😅 Secondly... Your height? You think women choose potential partners based purely on height????? Did you eat something weird or what

[Jeeperz_]

i'm not sure how a bunch of aromantics are meant to answer why no one is romantically attracted to you. also, this is far too little information for anyone to give you answers off of in my opinion anyway.

[Confusedd]

40 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

First of all I think you're on the wrong site friend 😅 Secondly... Your height? You think women choose potential partners based purely on height????? Did you eat something weird or what

I totally agree with you on the fact that there are so many other factors that women look for in a potential partner and it seems that I can get along with women pretty easily but yet no romance. 

my height was the only reason I could find which seems to be a reasonable answer to my question "if I am good with communication and flirting with women, why the hell am I alone?"

I just wanna know what I am doing wrong if I am doing something wrong after all. I wanna know whether my loneliness is related to my appereance or my behaviour or sth else.

[Jeeperz_]

14 minutes ago, Confusedd said:

I totally agree with you on the fact that there are so many other factors that women look for in a potential partner and it seems that I can get along with women pretty easily but yet no romance. 

my height was the only reason I could find which seems to be a reasonable answer to my question "if I am good with communication and flirting with women, why the hell am I alone?"

I just wanna know what I am doing wrong if I am doing something wrong after all. I wanna know whether my loneliness is related to my appereance or my behaviour or sth else.

i guarentee you it is not looks. i am one ugly mf and 132 cm and i get loads of action. idk if it's because im not picky or bc im actually charming, but i am 100% sure that it is not just looks bud. are you acting like an incel? that's a pretty big turn off. i think you're probably just worse at communication than you think. no one really thinks of themself as bad at communication, they just are.

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

30 minutes ago, Confusedd said:

I totally agree with you on the fact that there are so many other factors that women look for in a potential partner and it seems that I can get along with women pretty easily but yet no romance. 

my height was the only reason I could find which seems to be a reasonable answer to my question "if I am good with communication and flirting with women, why the hell am I alone?"

I just wanna know what I am doing wrong if I am doing something wrong after all. I wanna know whether my loneliness is related to my appereance or my behaviour or sth else.

I see. And, uh, are you aware of what type of website this is?

[hemogoblin]

This site is for people who don't experience romantic attraction. That's what "aromantic" means. It's not "a website for romantic issues". Perhaps you would be better served by a relationship sub on reddit, such as r/relationship_advice, r/dating, r/dating_advice, r/relationshipadvicenow, r/relationships, r/relationships_advice, etc., etc., etc.

Here are some common reasons men are rejected these days:

• They are desperate. They ask out anyone and everyone simply because they want a girlfriend. They clearly don't care about the person they are asking. They would go for anyone. As a result, they will likely be clingy, demanding, uninteresting, and uncaring of who you even are as a person.
• They are entitled/selfish. They only care about their own needs. They don't care about getting to know the other person or providing anything to a relationship. They expect their partners to cater to their every need while expecting to give nothing back.
• They are misogynistic and view women as objects/sex dolls rather than people. Their compliments are all based on physicality. They are objectifying and dehumanizing towards the women they talk to. They talk over women. They want to show a woman off for their own pride rather than actually build a relationship with women.
• They are lazy. They're looking for a mommy they can have sex with. They expect their partners to do all the cleaning, cooking, childcare, emotional labor, etc. They contribute nothing to nearly nothing - and anything they do, they have to be "nagged" into and complain about it the whole time.
• They are shallow. They expect to get by on their looks, wit, or money. They don't bother actually listening to women or having real conversations with them. They talk about themselves near constantly and expect that their partner will just like everything they do because they like it, while never considering they should show an interest in what their partner likes.
• They are immature. Another category just looking for a mommy they can have sex with. They want to sit around playing video games or tinkering on their own hobbies and doing nothing else. They don't want to spend meaningful time with their partners. They want partners who are available on demand, usually for sex and free therapy and taking their anger/frustration out on, that they can then ignore the rest of the time. They spend all their time with friends and call their partners "needy" and "clingy" when their partners try to ask for more.
• They're disrespectful. They don't support reproductive rights, they don't want women in politics, they believe in "men's work" vs "women's work". They plain don't respect women at all. They expect a "partner" to serve them and obey them.
• They're manipulative. They neg women, they harass women, they pretend to be a woman's friend because they think it 100% has to lead to a sexual relationship, they stalk women, they play mind games, they are hot and cold, etc. They're not trying to build a relationship: they're trying to trick a woman into being trapped with them because they feel rejection (and therefore respecting the woman as a person) is not an option.
• They think they are living in a Disney movie or romcom. They expect a partner to fall into their lap. They don't socialize with women or make any special efforts to be around women at all. Maybe they create a meager profile on a dating app where they just say "wyd" to women. Then they wonder why they aren't finding relationships. Can't find something you never work for.

But again, this is a forum geared towards a group of people who largely don't want romantic relationships. It's just not the best place for your question. A lot of us here are specifically avoiding relationships and those of us looking for relationships are often confused by how to build or maintain them because we're looking for a relationship based on feelings we don't even experience. Besides reddit, you may also find helpful advice over on Dr. Nerdlove, who is largely catered towards men in your position.

Good luck.

Edited October 15, 2023 by hemogoblin