(TW Arophobia/Erasure) Aromantic Characters and Fandom

[Neon]

This is something that has been stewing in me for a while. And it's something that I think has a lot of complexity. But hey, I'm going to try and do it justice. And I would genuinely appreciate responses challenging/adding onto anything I bring up.

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So, there are like 5 whole aromantic characters in popular media. And pretty much all of them are aroace. And pretty much none of them get that part of them explored.

And that's ridiculously disappointing. Because representation is essential for feeling comfortable with oneself.

So when I see a canon aromantic character, I get so incredibly excited. And for a while, I expected the fandom to be just as excited. To celebrate it with as much enthusiam as they do when a character is confirmed to be lesbian/gay/bi/trans.

But instead, with one exception, I've been met with "well, it's still okay to ship them" and "well, it's not really canon".

If there's celebration, it's from other aro fans. And it's a few posts in the tidal wave of "let's just ignore this".

I really want to dive into that response, and why it is so hurtful.

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"It's okay to ship them"

...tends to come in a few ways.

1) aromantic people can still date

2) just make it a QPR

3) they are just fictional characters

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The first is pretty insidious to me, because it IS true. Aromantic people can and do date. And people can and should write about that.

However, it's one thing to say that, and genuinely think of them as a partnering aromantic person. It's another to say that, and then proceed to completely ignore that the character is aromantic.

So, for example, [character] is canonically aromantic. Fanfic Writer 1 writes a story about them realizing that they still want a relationship and navigating being unable to return the exact feelings of the person they are dating. Fanfic Writer 2 writes a story about them as demiromantic and falling in love with their closest friend. Fanfic Writer 3 writes a story about them getting together with another character. Both characters are written the same way that Fanfic Writer 3 writes two alloromantic characters getting together. [Character] being aromantic is briefly mentioned, if at all.

People ask Fanfic Writer 3 if they know that [character] is aromantic, and if so, why Fanfic Writer 3 would write this story that so clearly erases that [character] is aromantic.

Fanfic Writer 3 says that "aromantic people can still date". Maybe they even throw in a little "aromantics are clearly the REAL aphobes if they don't even know that aro people can date".

And that is the difference. Fanfic Writers 1 and 2 write stories where [character] is aromantic. Fanfic Writer 3 did not.

I don't think that it is inherently wrong to ship aromantic characters. In fact, I think it's good that people (for the most part) don't see aromantic characters and just assume they are non-partnering. Partnering aros deserve to see themselves in media just as much as non-partnering aros do. And they shouldn't be used as human shields and weapons by alloromantics trying to deflect valid criticism.

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Just like the first, the second isn't literally wrong, just how it's used.

There's nothing wrong with finding out that a character you ship is actually aromantic and seeing that ship as a QPR from then on.

However, QPRs aren't just the aromantic version of romantic relationships. They aren't romantic-relationship-lite.

Just taking your ship and going "oh it's a QPR now" just shows that you don't understand what a QPR is.

Furthermore, just saying it's a QPR doesn't mean much if you are just still seeing them as alloromantic, in a romantic relationship, but just slapping a different label on it so you don't get backlash. Fanfic Writer 3 above could just as well say "I meant it as a QPR" as "aromantic people can date". In that context, they hold the same amount of meaning, and serve the same purpose. Just because you say something was your intention doesn't mean it's true.

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And finally, the third. In my opinion, the worst.

Because you would think that it just demonstates a complete lack of understanding of the effect of representation, and importance that people see themselves reflected in media, especially popular media.

But more often than not, this is thrown around by people who are ALSO underrepresented. So they know. They just don't care.

Yes, [character] is fictional. But that doesn't mean that [character] being aromantic doesn't have a very real, very positive effect on the aromantic people consuming that media.

Furthermore, I mostly see this thrown around by other QUEER people. Who would be shocked and appalled if they saw people shipping lesbian characters with men (or erasing any other identity). As they should.

But for some reason, when a character is aromantic, it's not erasure. Because that would be bad for their ship.

I genuinely do not understand it, but some people genuinely see their ship as more important that representation. But it's not. And it will never be.

Aromantic stories and representation are ALWAYS more important than ships. They are ALWAYS more important than coddling alloromantics. They should NEVER be erased for any reason.

Again, it's not inherently bad to ship aromantic characters. But the fact that they are fictional holds no weight.

A few weeks ago, I saw a Tumblr post going around in which people found out that Peridot from Steven Universe is canonically aroace. A few weeks ago. Filled with SU fans. Who didn't know.

Because the vast majority of the Peridot content is content in which she is shipped with various other characters. And somehow, almost none of that content even indicated that she is aroace. To the point where you can be really into the show, consume a ton of fan content, and still not know.

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In conclusion, it's fine to ship aromantic characters. It's not find to erase aromanticism.

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oh. you thought I was done. nope. I've got more to say. keep reading for the one fandom that didn't blatantly erasure a character's canonical aromanticism.

Now, onto the next big one that I see.

"It's not really canon"

Generally, this is about characters who were confirmed via word-of-god and/or weren't confirmed explicitly, but instead through implication.

And I am here to tell you that it is still canon. Yep, just because you personally didn't pick up on it doesn't mean it wasn't intentional, and doesn't mean it wasn't there.

That's not to say that some creators don't abuse word-of-god confirmation for diversity points. But that is the exception to the rule.

The simple fact of the matter is that it is VERY difficult to get explicit confirmations of queerness into mainstream media. Creators have to fight tooth and nail for the tiniest of implications, much less definitive affirmation.

So when a creator says "I intended this character to be aromantic" (or any queer identity) they should be believed. Especially, but not only, when they point to moments in the narrative where the implication was slipped in and/or when they have a track record of having diversity.

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Now, you may be wondering, what the opposite of this response looks like. In my opinion, it looks like The Owl House fandom's reaction to Lilith being confirmed to be aroace (though I feel that the crew's announcement was.......lacking....*cough* aromantic isn't a dirty word *cough*).

Pretty much all I saw was people celebrating, making icons, making edits, telling their friends, etc..

Yeah, there were a few angry people here and there, but they were few and far between. To this day, if I see a Lilith ship, there's a 98% chance it's not meant to be taken seriously.

And it's nice. It really is. But I do wonder, would they have reacted the same if instead of Lilith, it had been a character that is heavily shipped?

Or would they react as every other fandom who find's out a heavily shipped character is aromantic does? Would they defend their actions with half baked understandings of aromanticism? Would they be blatantly cruel?

I don't know, and I hate that I don't.

Because, look at the Steven Universe fandom. The Hazbin Hotel Fandom. The MCU Fandom. Fandoms I don't even know about. They all have significant overlap in viewer bases.

I just don't know. And I think that's sad.

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So, yeah. Thank you for reading this far if you have. Like I said above, I am mostly likely far from completely correct on anything I wrote here. I would love criticism/agreement, so I can get a gauge if I'm way off base.

Also, I wrote this at midnight (to 1:30), so please don't judge my writing lol.

[S-Hawk]

1 hour ago, Neon said:

"It's okay to ship them"

...tends to come in a few ways.

1) aromantic people can still date

2) just make it a QPR

3) they are just fictional characters

tbh this always rubs me the wrong way; why do shipping culture care abt aspec ppl sm? whenever an aro character pops up they contemplate abt how theyre going to ship them and not anything else; cmon. do whatever tf u want as long as ure not actively being arophobic and erasing their canon orientation; its not the end of the world to represent a partnering aro; theyre literally walking on eggshells for no reason

1 hour ago, Neon said:

"It's not really canon"

Generally, this is about characters who were confirmed via word-of-god and/or weren't confirmed explicitly, but instead through implication.

And I am here to tell you that it is still canon. Yep, just because you personally didn't pick up on it doesn't mean it wasn't intentional, and doesn't mean it wasn't there.

That's not to say that some creators don't abuse word-of-god confirmation for diversity points. But that is the exception to the rule.

The simple fact of the matter is that it is VERY difficult to get explicit confirmations of queerness into mainstream media. Creators have to fight tooth and nail for the tiniest of implications, much less definitive affirmation.

So when a creator says "I intended this character to be aromantic" (or any queer identity) they should be believed. Especially, but not only, when they point to moments in the narrative where the implication was slipped in and/or when they have a track record of having diversity.

thats literally the arguments saiki k shippers use when aroacespec ppl try to defend their one of a few aroace characters they have; just bc the case of saiki is heavily aroace coded but wasnt explicitly stated. everyone goes head over heels for a character thats heavily lesbian/vincian coded and all concluded that theyre canonically attracted to women/men only; yet all of a sudden for aspec rep we need explicit statements from the creator themselves for it to be canon?? tf kind of hypocrisy is this. just say u dont want to acknowledge aroacespec ppl are getting representation; thats it

saiki is canonically aroace; he literally said he dont experience nor understand romantic love which is the definition of aromanticism; are we even watching the same show if u think otherwise? hes not romantically interested in shit; end of story

1 hour ago, Neon said:

Because, look at the Steven Universe fandom. The Hazbin Hotel Fandom. The MCU Fandom. Fandoms I don't even know about. They all have significant overlap in viewer bases.

dont even get me started on the whole alastor aroace ordeal; alastor being ace is already widely known but hes also canonically aro yet the fandom hasnt really acknowledged or know that. vivzie didnt want to reveal that hes also aro due to the shipping community and their arophobia and complaints bc all of a sudden they cant ship him and have fun anymore; going back to ur previous point. its so stupid

Edited March 31, 2023 by 7sev

[nonmerci]

Oh don't get me started.

First I like to differentiate official and non-official. I consider itt to be official when a character says the word, or expresses feelings that fit the definition of the word. For instance, Saiki seems to fit that (I never watched the show so I don't know). However a non-official would be a headcanon where we know nothing about the orientation (for instance : Isabela in Encanto, Elsa in Frozen).

I see no problem in taking the non-official characters into fanfiction and do what tou want. However, for the others...

 

I consider that fanfiction is all about twisted the canon. It can be fun to say "what if it was like this instead, let's see the consequences". But it is different to say : "I don't like that X is from a minority Y, it goes against my personal fantasy, so I decided to change that". Here's there is a personal problem. And let's be honest, most of this shipping falls into this last category, not in the "good fun" one. It is like saying "my fantasy is more important than someone's identity". And it is even more problematic when itt erases the real identity of the character, to the point that everybody forgets tthe character is aro.

People should think about how it impacts them to say "I don't care that you are never able to be seen, I don't like this identity from your character, so I'll change that".

 

And I think the fact that it comes from the queer community is not as surprising as it may seem. I think that most straight people learn that it is a bad thing, they learned how to care about other minorities. There are assholes of course, but thise who cares about diversity know what  they should do and not do. But queer people are usually the erased minorities, not the one who erases. They are not used to this position. Do you remember how some queer people were arguing that "allonormativity is not a scene cause that would put queer people in the position to oppress people for ttheir orientation, which is impossible when you are yourself oppressed by your orientation?" That's the same logic : thethey think they can't do nothing bad cause they are themselves victim of erasure, so if they an aro character to put them in a queer ship, they don'tt see it as bad.

But the thing is : it doesn't work like that. Just imagine someone taking an Asian character and turn him into a Black character (I've seen it once, itt was the Artemis Fowl movie). Would that be ok? Not at all.

 

 

Finally I think there is a real problem that people don't get that there is no need to have the word "aromantic" in the media for it to be official, if the aromanticism were clearly shown or expressed. For instance, I am writing a story in a medieval setting, one of my character is not aro, but ace, and there is a whole arc about that. But I don't say the word ace as they don't have a word for that. Just imagine if people say it is not canon just because tthere is not the word, despite all the arc being about it? Same thing can happen with the aro characters. It is just disrespectful and show that word don't understand and don't care about us.

I also partly blame the whole fiction for that. Too often there is the story of the character uninterested in romance that falls in love when they find "the one". I'm sure it is one of the reason people don't take it seriously when a character expresses aro traits.

[rob]

This is coming from someone who is a shipper and active in shipping spaces, not only that, I am also active in romance focused and heavy alloro fandoms like romance manhwa and otome games (why I like things so disgustingly amatonormative? I don't... but I do, my brain works in mysterious ways). It's a complicated situation where we always get the short end of the stick

I'm fine with headcanons, I'm fine with playing with characters for a fic or a fancomic, I really don't care. Generally I just avoid content made of certain characters or even certain fandoms, it's shitty but curating your fandom experience is necessary

If they did just that I wouldn't give a shit, the problem is that when they do it, it obviously doesn't come from the desire to just have fun with your favorite characters but from some deep arophobia they won't address and will get aggressive if you point it out to them

When they write canon or heavily coded aro characters it always comes in the form of a fix it fic, they think the character being uninterested in someone else romantically in canon is a flaw they are fixing. Which is disgusting, this goes beyond good faith fandom stuff and shows what they think of actual irl aros. It also comes packed with suddenly not understanding how interpersonal relationships work. Honestly seeing people claim that admiration, eye contact, affection and genuine care have to be signs of romantic attraction is both sad and hilarious, makes me wonder what kind of bland friendships they have

Most people in fandom inherently devalue platonic relationships even when they claim to be celebrating them. If they use these relationships they are either explicitly portrayed as lesser or just outright romantic relationships they claim are "ambiguous". This appears a lot in hanahaki and soulmate AUs, two already wildly arophobic tropes

Just to have a rant in a rant. Both of these can be made less arophobic, is just that alloros don't care to do so. For example, one of my favorite fics of all time is a hanahaki AU where Luffy from One Piece (heavily aroace coded to a point where not even most alloros can deny it) develops hanahaki after falling in love with the sea. Such a small but brilliant change to the core structure of the trope. It's beautiful.

In normal every day interactions they are also aggressive towards platonic shippers, claiming that platonic relationships are boring, less valuable and homophobic for getting in the way of a queer ship. The last one comes from the fact that homophobic fans and moralists in fandom will sometimes champion platonic ships as "purer" than a romantic queer ship (another inherently arophobic idea but that's for another discussion). Because of that they can become overzealous in "defending" they ships, which, more often than not, ends with us at the other end of a metaphorical gun. And just because homophobes use platonic relationships to attack queer shippers, that doesn't give them the right to attack arospecs who are just minding their own business, trying to also play with our favorite characters in a way that makes us happy 

When they explicitly portray aromantic characters they range from offensive to offensively boring. It's either a "fixing" scenario or an aromantic side character that appears randomly to be used to explain aromanticism in a way that is literally the author pausing the story to make a PSA containing of a literal google definition, before being sidetracked for the rest of the story. And all of this can be avoided so easily if they just learned two things:

1. Good stories can be written about aros that don't revolve around letting the audience know what aromanticism is and nothing else

2. Just talk to aros

If they want to write stories about aros getting into relationships and falling in love RESPECTFULLY they can, it's just that they don't have the necessary education to even comprehend how that would look, which would be solved very easily by just talking to aros but, for some reason (catch my sarcasm there), they never think to do that

Conclusion: fandom would be a lot nicer if people would just listen to us. Boring but true