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Where I come from, people act like you're their boyfriend/girlfriend sometimes when you hardly know them. Has this happened to you?


Ted guy

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Dating is relatively loose where I come from.

I've had times where a girl essentially thought I was dating her, when I didn't have a clue she felt that way.

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Like for example, in college, I met back up with someone I went to high school with.

I was bored for Christmas break and messaging people for stuff to do.

She messaged me and we were talking about hanging out for Christmas supper etc.

Then we hung out with her cousin (my best friend at the time) and I kept leaving because I wasn't feeling good from my meds.

There had been NO talk of love, romance, or anything at all.

But my friend messaged me the week later, saying she was upset and wasn't sure if she could be in a relationship someone who was running from her like me. She thought I was her boyfriend.

WHAT!?!?!?!?!

I quickly proceeded to message her I just looked at her as a friend. I didn't know that was what she thought.

But that's happened to me many times.

From my perception it is SO STRANGE, and I bet most people reading, you feel the same way.

Now that I'm aware of being aro, I'm always confused what other people think.

I'm just wordering if anyone relates.

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As I said on my other posts, because I'm not able to understand the perception of non-aros, I'm worried about getting in trouble.

I dont understand 70% of it.

I like being nice to people and my co-workers bringing them things like coffees and cupcakes etc. But now I'm worried they think it's me trying to bed them

Edited by Ted guy
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Well... Seeing someone at Christmas could seem like a date and a romantic thing, but if your friend was there too then there's no point in that. 

 

I guess your only option is to stick with an allo friend that can interpret the implicit for you

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7 minutes ago, Atypique said:

Well... Seeing someone at Christmas could seem like a date and a romantic thing, but if your friend was there too then there's no point in that. 

 

I guess your only option is to stick with an allo friend that can interpret the implicit for you

Yes. I haven't revealed in my life being an aro. It might have to come up at some point, your point makes me feel

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My best advice here is to be upfront. Be explicit that you only see them as a friend. You don't have to out yourself, just say something like "yeah, I love to hang out with my friends".

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2 minutes ago, Neon said:

My best advice here is to be upfront. Be explicit that you only see them as a friend. You don't have to out yourself, just say something like "yeah, I love to hang out with my friends".

That's good too

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22 hours ago, Ted guy said:

Yes. I haven't revealed in my life being an aro. It might have to come up at some point, your point makes me feel

I personally try to show it a lot with badges or jokes because I really hate being loved in a romantic way, and I want anyone near to me to be aware of that in advance. However that's me and myself, and maybe not the most healthy thing to do

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