Antioch Posted February 25, 2023 Share Posted February 25, 2023 Hullo! I'm aroallo but sex-averse and wondering if I'm the only one 😅 Constantly feeling not sexual enough for the allos and too sexual for the aces. Add in that sex-averse allosexuals seems to only pop up as an occasional theoretical in ace discussions, and uh. Feeling very alone. Still struggling to figure out where I fit in, or how to find a relationship type that works for me. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queerdo Posted March 19, 2023 Share Posted March 19, 2023 No, you're not the only one. Rant: I think "theoretical" is often too kind since usually what I see is erasure, or patronizing stereotypes about how we need to "get over" our own boundaries. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace_of_Spades Posted March 25, 2023 Share Posted March 25, 2023 (edited) Since you're aromantic, you're always welcome on Arocalypse! Also, I must say, as an aromantic asexual, that I appreciate you because you recognize that aromanticism + sex-repulsion isn't the same thing as asexuality. Lately, I've seen many people mistaking "experiencing sexual attraction but being sex-repulsed" as asexuality, and it drives me crazy. You have no idea how glad I am to see that people are still able to recognize that. Side-note: Not that I've had sex before, but I'm simply saying that asexuality is more than not wanting sex and people don't seem to realize that nowadays. (Kind of like how aromanticism is more than not wanting romance, but people don't understand that either.) Anyway, welcome! Edited March 25, 2023 by Ace_of_Spades 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queerdo Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 Vent: Saw another "how do allos have sex all the time?" thing. Most of my peers are not having a lot of sex. It's very difficult to have partnered sex without a sexual relationship (even if that's only for a few hours) and one of the ambiguous joys of being over 40 is becoming less and less willing to compromise your own wants and needs just for sex. (Especially since sex as a trans person means figuring out what sex means for me, and communicating that to another person.) When I was first coming of age, a popular feminist slogan was "Women need men like a fish needs a bicycle." Lately that's been coming to the top of my brain more and more often. I need sex like a fish needs a bicycle. I'm happy doing it for myself until I find someone I feel comfortable sharing with. If that never happens, it's not a loss. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Newest Fabled Creature Posted May 29, 2023 Share Posted May 29, 2023 (edited) You're not alone! I wouldn't say I'm completely sex-averse, maybe a little, but I am sex-indifferent and despite the fact that I do experience sexual attraction, I just can't see myself actually having sex with anyone? Other than the occasional idea of it, but actually following through? No. This did make me question if I'm ace-spec, but I don't believe I even am especially since as stated sex-repulsion doesn't equal to being asexual/ace-spec. I just, don't see sex as something I'd do really (of course, I can't say I'd exactly %100 rule out the possibility of me having it, but it feels like a very situational thing for me, hence me being mostly indifferent). Edited May 29, 2023 by The Newest Fabled Creature 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
root22 Posted June 4, 2023 Share Posted June 4, 2023 I'm glad you said this because I feel the same way. I don't really see myself having any sex in the forseeable future, it involves a lot of trust and vulnerability and I'm also still struggling with internalized homophobia about my sexual attraction. I honestly don't think I really need someone else to take care of my needs in this regard 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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