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What are Xeno/Neogender individuals (no hate, just curious)


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I personally don’t identify outside of my birth sex or gender, but I think I have a pretty good understanding of transgender or otherwise binary gender unconforming people, mostly from personal friends and the internet. But Xenogenders and neogenders are a loss for me. I’m not invalidating or hating on them in any way, but I genuinely want to understand the thought process and how it would feel to be xeno/neogender. I know a good deal about the community, but just not the intrapersonal aspect of it. 
Can someone who identifies as such please describe to me how it feels, like include your identity and your experience with finding yourself, etc. Or if you just want to educate me, regardless of your gender/sex please do so as well. 


Edited by Reindeermilk
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  • Reindeermilk changed the title to What are Xeno/Neogender individuals (no hate, just curious)

Noting that I don't specifically identify as a xenogender (mostly because I don't feel like i need to narrow it down beyond nonbinary and genderqueer), part of the draw for me is...

Explain gender.

Explain how to gender.

Explain what is gender.

What makes you a girl/woman? Describe the feeling. Not physical characteristics or things you do, but the internal sense of what being a girl/woman feels like. Can you do it without just using the word(s) "girl/woman"?


Most likely, that was really hard, wasn't it? Especially if you're aware of gender stereotypes and tried to avoid utilizing those to try and describe gender. Gender is so abstract and vague and hard to get a grasp on. And the more you think about it, the more abstract it can seemingly become. If you don't just know, it can be really disorienting and upsetting trying to put some name to it. Xenogenders give you a concrete way to describe that or relate to gender beyond "ums" and "uhs" and vague gesturing and "you know". ~ "My gender's like an abyss - vast and consuming and vague and scary and unconstrained." ~ "My gender is like an alien trying to understand human genders." ~ "My gender has to do with cats - curious, intelligent, friendly but sometimes standoffish, misunderstood, runs away when given too much attention." ~ "My gender is intertwined with my neurodivergence, and I can't understand my gender but throughout the lens of my neurodivergence, therefore my gender is [neurodivergency or aspect of neurodivergency]." Kinda grand, isn't it, to be able to put articulatable feelings/descriptions to your gender/experience? Also, many xenogenders can be so poetic, and isn't that an awesome way to get to describe your feelings? How beautiful.

Edited by hemogoblin
Added tildes to help some readability
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  • 1 month later...

I recently found the term "pupgender" and the description was "a gender that feels like the qualities of a puppy". So I guess it's not so much "my gender IS a puppy" as it is "my gender FEELS LIKE a puppy".

I don't really identify as having a xenogender, but I think the pupgender flag is super cute hehe

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