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Reindeermilk

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About Reindeermilk

  • Birthday 10/14/2005

Personal Information

  • Name
    Emma
  • Orientation
    Aro-spec, Pomoromantic, Aegosexual
  • Gender
    Female
  • Pronouns
    She/her
  • Location
    US of A 🦅🇺🇸🪖
  • Occupation
    Med School

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  1. The only think that’s been keeping me from labeling myself as fully aro/ace is that I have experienced crushes in the past; three boys when I was between the ages 8 and 12. ~you don’t have to read this next paragraph 😅~ But to be specific I would describe them as more “I really like hanging out with him and he makes me laugh” not “I want to date him”. my first crush was when I was in the first grade. We confessed mutual feelings, but I didn’t want to do anything, like start dating. The second boy was when I was in the fourth grade. He went to my daycare, and again I just really liked hanging out with him. He was fun. I left that daycare and never saw him again, so I never confessed feelings, but I didn’t care that I didn’t. And lastly, I had a two year crush on a boy from fifth to sixth grade. He got a girlfriend midway through seventh grade. Everyone expected me to be jealous and upset, because everyone knew I liked him. But I didn’t care at all. Anyway, way too much information, but I’m just confused. Cause I hear all these different names like squishes and other things, because aromantic people don’t have crushes? I just want to know if it’s normal to have had actually crushes on people when you were younger. As of recently I haven’t had anything really remotely similar to those feelings when I was younger, but anyway. Assure me please. 🤝
  2. I have a few friends who are also couples (yk like both significant others are in the friend group) and they have no boundaries around other people fr. They’ll just be cringe and sit in each others laps, and leave the room to legit go elsewhere. Like bro we’re all just trying to hang out why are you doing this 💀 I honestly can’t expect Valentine’s Day to be any different. But on the bright side, I kinda…might be thinking about talking to my friend about our relationship…❤️he’s already confessed yk, but I never gave him a legitimate answer.
  3. This is kinda an odd and long question, but I just had to ask it. I’ve been so confused (and sorta embarrassed) about this whole ordeal, and I need to know if others have had a similar experience or just have advice to give. Anyway, I’ve told one of my closest friends that I’m on the aromatic spectrum and probably the asexual spectrum too. And I sort of recently told him that I like him, but not in the traditional “let’s date and kiss and have sex” kind of way. I have described it to him as like I want to raise kids together (unbiological) but as friends, or live together; sleep in the same bed, but as friends. Hell, even get married but as friends and in a friend way. I’ve talked about this with him, the best I can, and he’s seems ok with it for the most part, but I’m not sure how to actually go about this sort of relationship and build upon it. I also don’t want to confine him to a “loveless” relationship, and keep him tied down to a potentially unfulfilling one, as he’s not on the a-spectrum in anyway. Really I’m just asking if anyone can assure me in anyway that what I’m describing is a QPR, or something else, and how exactly I should talk about this with my friend. Thank you 🙏❤️
  4. I think, that if you’re using multiple names, it’s totally fine as long as you orient them. Like let people know what name you want to be called at what time, so they don’t offend you. And I also think you have to have some grace with other people and the confusion they’ll probably face. But all in all, if you want to use multiple names regardless if they’re gender orientated, go right ahead bro. No one’s gonna stop you.
  5. It depends what meaning you want the name to have, or what language you want it to be in. There is A LOT of unisex (genderless) Japanese names that start with I’s: •Isami •Iori •Ichigo and more. But if you want more English or European names then: •Ivon •Isha •Indigo •Ignis •Iabiel Good luck on your name journey ❤️
  6. It wasn’t really a “coming out” per se, but me and a friend of mine were on FaceTime and I was saying how I definitely didn’t like him, but I would totally wanna raise kids together (I specified that they wouldn’t be ours, but adopted). And he legit said “That sounds kinda asexual to me” and I got so embarrassed even though I could have played off the joke and been fine. Later in the night while we were still on FaceTime, I messaged him saying that I was actually aroace not just asexual. He was really supportive about it, and we’re still friends to this day, though our plans for raising kids together had fallen through lol.
  7. Reindeermilk

    Comeing out

    I’m not my mother’s/father’s only son, but I can understand that that must be a huge weight on your shoulder, especially if it’s a serious issue in your coming out experience. I can’t tell you the wrong or right way to do it, but the advice I can give is to tell the parent you trust the most, and ask them how the other would take it. If the response is negative, you can go from there, but if it’s positive then it’s probably safe to say it’d be ok to come out. And also, coming out doesn’t need to be rushed. If you’re scared to do it, then maybe you should wait a little while before you’re secure and confident in yourself. Please don’t just take anyone’s advice from the internet though. Only you know what’s best for you. ❤️
  8. I personally don’t identify outside of my birth sex or gender, but I think I have a pretty good understanding of transgender or otherwise binary gender unconforming people, mostly from personal friends and the internet. But Xenogenders and neogenders are a loss for me. I’m not invalidating or hating on them in any way, but I genuinely want to understand the thought process and how it would feel to be xeno/neogender. I know a good deal about the community, but just not the intrapersonal aspect of it. Can someone who identifies as such please describe to me how it feels, like include your identity and your experience with finding yourself, etc. Or if you just want to educate me, regardless of your gender/sex please do so as well.
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