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Realization


Keith
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I think I've come to a breaking point in my life. 

I actually never knew the difference between romantic and platonic relationships & feelings. When I was about to get into my first romantic relationship, I had no idea how to act. It was so stressful. But after I've spent some time in it, I realized that nothing has actually changed. I mean we only started to say "I love you" in a 'romantic' way, and that was it. However, I thought that it's just how it was supposed to be, since we were pretty young. I thought it was normal.

That's why I was so confused when my girlfriend told me, that she doesn't feel like we're in a relationship. She feels like she's just my bestfriend. "Isn't that what being in a relationship should feel like?" I thought, but I've never said that to her.

This is what helped me discover my aromanticism, that's true. But I thought, that even though I knew it was impossible, I still wanted to be in a romantic relationship with somone. And this is where I was wrong. 

If I can't tell the difference between these two types of relationship, can I really dream about being in [a romantic] one? And since I've desired a romantic relationship, while thinking that romantic relationships are basically just closer platonic relationships, this must mean, that I actually never wanted to be in a romantic relationship. I only wanted a really close (irl) friend. 

And I still do. 

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5 minutes ago, Keith said:

And since I've desired a romantic relationship, while thinking that romantic relationships are basically just closer platonic relationships

– wait – aren't they???

 

lol well to quote myself "why should people be in romantic relationships when they could be best friends?"

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For my entire adult life my idea of relationships was "best friend you have sex with." I knew what falling in love is, intellectually, I just never had the experience. And I already take friendships seriously, so it was logical to think of a lover as an even closer friend. But finding out about aromanticism really cleared a lot up for me.

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Yeah, I had a bit of the same problem, I am talking to someone currently who seems very..touchy. I don't want to date him if he doesn't respect that I'm aroace but I feel like it's too late, I kinda just wanna be close and his idea of dating is very different I think

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