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Feeling Pride for the First Time


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(Kinda NSFW, but nothing specific or graphic)

I didn't think I'd ever reconcile with the greyromantic/greysexual side of me. A lot of the times I feel like I'm lying to myself or that I'm just a broken or antisocial allo—but I think I've finally come to terms with the way I am. I have libido, but people don't trigger it. It's kinda just...there in my bloodstream, and fictional characters seem to be where all my romantic and sexual energy gets funneled to.

I think going outside with a group of people helped me get back in touch with reality and helped me realize the part of myself I tend to neglect in favor of fantasy (fictional characters). And then last night I came across a Reddit reply that defined sexual attraction as desire triggered by the specific person, and that put so much into perspective, because I can see myself 'fooling around' but not because someone specifically is triggering it, rather, because there's a mutual itch that needs scratching. (Though I can't rule out that maybe someone, somewhere is attractive in that way to me haha.) Crazy to think a Reddit reply was the thing that ended up making me feel pride and harmonious with myself, but everything sorta clicked into place and I felt happy.

Just wanted to share this experience since I thought I'd never be at peace and then it finally happened :3

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10 minutes ago, Twilight Firefly said:

I have libido, but people don't trigger it. It's kinda just...there in my bloodstream, and fictional characters seem to be where all my romantic and sexual energy gets funneled to.

This hits hard, this is like me omg

 

this honestly describes my life along with thinking I’m an “antisocial allo” honestly I needed this post :) glad you could understand yourself more :3

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On 10/24/2022 at 12:43 PM, Twilight Firefly said:

(Kinda NSFW, but nothing specific or graphic)

I didn't think I'd ever reconcile with the greyromantic/greysexual side of me. A lot of the times I feel like I'm lying to myself or that I'm just a broken or antisocial allo—but I think I've finally come to terms with the way I am. I have libido, but people don't trigger it. It's kinda just...there in my bloodstream, and fictional characters seem to be where all my romantic and sexual energy gets funneled to.

I think going outside with a group of people helped me get back in touch with reality and helped me realize the part of myself I tend to neglect in favor of fantasy (fictional characters). And then last night I came across a Reddit reply that defined sexual attraction as desire triggered by the specific person, and that put so much into perspective, because I can see myself 'fooling around' but not because someone specifically is triggering it, rather, because there's a mutual itch that needs scratching. (Though I can't rule out that maybe someone, somewhere is attractive in that way to me haha.) Crazy to think a Reddit reply was the thing that ended up making me feel pride and harmonious with myself, but everything sorta clicked into place and I felt happy.

Just wanted to share this experience since I thought I'd never be at peace and then it finally happened :3

Oh yeah i have a friend just like that, however, I think a lot of that is due to the fact that it is verboten to have premarital sex in her religion, so her experience isn't super applicable to your experience. I on the other side am like that because I am sexually fluid in terms of sexual attraction to people, and partly because I need to rehearse how sexual encounters are going to be as an intersex person, because I am scared of things going sideways. However, I tend to trigger my libido but that is more so when writing characters (historical characters too who once lived, I might add) and what an interaction in an aromantic and in a sexual sense would look like.

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