am i aromantic / aroace or just confused?

[Guest ashe]

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so i'm around 11-13 (i'm not saying my age for sure cause i'm pretty young. so please dont judge im only looking for answers.) and i think im a lesbian, but i also think im just forcing my brain to like girls just.. cause. like, i dont even know if i'm ace cause like s3x = cool, like i would do it and like feel something, but i don't know if i feel romantic attraction. cause women are pretty n all, but do i have a crush on them?  i need answers.

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i didn't mean to add these spoilers btw. i don't know how to remove them im new to this site lol

 

[raye]

Hi! Please don't take anything I say as gospel and as the truth as I'm only 18 and have only just realised I'm aro myself, but I'll try and at least answer some of those questions. 

Remember that you don't have to label yourself if you don't want to, and it's also perfectly okay and normal for those labels to change as you get older and learn more about yourself. So if you feel more like a lesbian at the moment, and then find out you're aroace, that's okay! You could even be an aroace lesbian. I myself am not aroace, but I believe that it's essentially to do with aesthetic attractions, almost an "I would if I wanted to" kinda situation. 

In regards to the having a crush on women situation: one of the main indicators when I was considering my own aro identity was the fact I'd never had a crush or even knew what a crush felt like. If that's something you might also been questioning, then yes, you might want to consider some labels under the aro umbrella. But you are still young and there's plenty of time for that to change. It's your identity and you can use whatever words you want to. 

Basically, just remember that in the end, it doesn't matter -- identities change and therefore the words you use to describe yourself can and probably will change, and questioning that identity is also a perfectly normal and healthy thing too, by the way. Know that no matter what words you choose to use and when, you are valid no matter what <3 

[Holmbo]

The only way to really know about these things is to try things out and reflect on them. Try the things that you feel you want to at the moment and then reflect on how it felt.

[Pyr]

I feel super similar to what you're describing! 

as Raye said, you don't need to worry about labels too much! Do whatever combo you're comfy with. 

(/hj) Also, why limit yourself to the binary of being either aroace or confused? You can be aroace and confused, like me!