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What does QPRs mean for you?


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I am trying to define what a queerplatonic relationship is for me, since I recently got attached to someone. Let me give some context.

So this person is my classmate. Since the moment I saw them I felt a strong aesthetic attraction, and I thought it would be nice if we could share some affection and company. Apparently, they felt the same towards me, and when we both admitted this we kind of began having a "special" relationship.

We kissed, did some stuff over the phone and talked about sex. We were open to it whether we were friends or partners, let's say. They were also very kind to me and I got attached due to all of this. 

The thing is that I don't think what I felt was romantic. I liked this person and I enjoyed their company, but I don't know. I still don't understand what romantic attraction is to be honest. What I can say is that I didn't really want the commitment of those typical romantic relationships. I just wanted company and intimacy, someone who I can be with this way (and someone who would reciprocate my efforts and all). But I feel that this kind of relationships (a little bit similar to FWB for the allos I've talked to) end up in a bad way if one of the involved get attached to the other.

It's complicated and my thoughts have been messy. That's why I would like to hear how you define your queerplatonic relationships :)

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I'd define a QPR as a nonromantic relationship that deviates from the "norms" of friendship. I'm not in a qpr but my "ideal" one would be a committed partnership involving some attraction (just not romantic), along with intimacy and attachment and genuinely enjoying being around the other person. A relationship where we understand each-other deeply. I'd also like for there to be some fwb elements myself, along with cohabitation (though I wouldn't necessarily want us to sleep in the same room.) Sort of a "partners in crime" type of thing, but where we aren't in love.

FWBs ending badly due to attachment is a case-by-case thing imo. I mean, I think it's good to feel attachment towards someone who you're friends with and who you're having sex with, y'know? But in an fwb with two allo people that attachment usually turns into romantic attraction, which can cause the fwb to fall apart if the other person doesn't feel the same way. There's less of a chance of that if one or both of you are aro, but it could still happen if, for example, one of you wants a qpr and the other wants things to be strictly casual. Do they know you're aro?

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