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Samu

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Everything posted by Samu

  1. I am trying to define what a queerplatonic relationship is for me, since I recently got attached to someone. Let me give some context. So this person is my classmate. Since the moment I saw them I felt a strong aesthetic attraction, and I thought it would be nice if we could share some affection and company. Apparently, they felt the same towards me, and when we both admitted this we kind of began having a "special" relationship. We kissed, did some stuff over the phone and talked about sex. We were open to it whether we were friends or partners, let's say. They were also very kind to me and I got attached due to all of this. The thing is that I don't think what I felt was romantic. I liked this person and I enjoyed their company, but I don't know. I still don't understand what romantic attraction is to be honest. What I can say is that I didn't really want the commitment of those typical romantic relationships. I just wanted company and intimacy, someone who I can be with this way (and someone who would reciprocate my efforts and all). But I feel that this kind of relationships (a little bit similar to FWB for the allos I've talked to) end up in a bad way if one of the involved get attached to the other. It's complicated and my thoughts have been messy. That's why I would like to hear how you define your queerplatonic relationships :)
  2. True, mostly after university on Friday nights. TPBM likes writing poetry
  3. I have been having gender crisis these days and I link my gender expression with gender identity so much that it gets very very confusing. I also want people to perceive me either as a boy or in an androgynous way and I am kinda desperate for them to use he/him pronouns on me, but I’m not out to anyone irl yet :( 

    1. Max_Ali

      Max_Ali

      Hello, I’m new on the site and I saw your status. I just wanted to tell you that you can write me if you need to talk. I was also not out about my gender expression and identity I was so scared to even consider I was non-binary or gender fluid. This year I finally told one of my friends and she was kind and understanding she is the first person to ever ask me what pronouns I preferred and it was liberating. What I mean to say is that it gets better, everyone has their own process and we have to respect ourselves too. Coming out is hard and you can get bad reactions from people but I assure you you will also get positive and supportive ones and those are the ones that matter. Don’t give up!

    2. Ikarus

      Ikarus

      You’re gender crisis sounds remarkably similar to my own. I remember having  similar thoughts.  

      What would you consider as an androgynous look, im just curious… 

       

    3. Samu

      Samu

      @Max_Ali@IkarusI’m sorry for the late reply. Both of your answers are very much appreciated.

      Some time has passed and I’m already out to some people in my life as a transmasc non binary person, and as you said Max, it is very liberating. I was lucky people around me were pretty understanding about it from the beginning, that made it easier for me to truly be myself. It does get better :)

      Regarding your question, Ikarus, for me, looking androgynous is being perceived as both a man and a woman at the same time (somehow). Like when people are confused and they cannot tell what my gender is.

  4. I’m not sure, I haven’t gotten a diagnose yet. TPBM has the most fun times alone by themselves.
  5. I’m offended because you’re offended by coco not being offended
  6. Woahhh, I’ve met someone not long ago, but I already feel so aesthetically and emotionally attracted to them. This person is just so cool and awesome and I’d like us to have a QPR. 

    1. MaxIsCosmic

      MaxIsCosmic

      I have a person I feel like that about too but I'm too scared to say anything- 

    2. Samu

      Samu

      Same, like I don't want to ruin our currently relationship or something

  7. I want to get a gaming chair so badly, even tho I play more on my iPad than my computer. I would also like to get more clothes that would help me with my gender expression. I get so much joy by wearing certain types of clothing and I cannot wait to see myself in more of it.
  8. Samu

    The music thread

    My fav genres currently are k-pop, alt rock, sometimes r&b and j-pop! I also enjoy bachata and reggaetón other times. :)
  9. Greetings newcomer~ hope you enjoy your stay :)
  10. False TPBM is passionate about the world’s history
  11. I’d rather travel the world with my bestie tgm
  12. False. In my country, it doesn’t snow at all :( TPBM can hold their breath underwater for many minutes
  13. You can check the cupioromantic label.
  14. I actually grew up knowing nothing about the lgbtq community, so I have always thought of me as a cishet romantic girl/woman until I was 18. The last time I "fell in love" was in 2017. I liked a boy that was from the same school as me, tho I'm not sure if I just felt a strong aesthetic attraction or something. Anyway, after him, I wanted to have a partner and fall in love again. I just could never click with anyone and I'd never fall in love no matter what. Last year is when I started reading about the community. I suddenly found the aromantic label and started to read a lot about it. While going deeper and deeper, it all made sense. Why can't I fall in love? Why am I not feeling romantic love? Why do I want to do "romantic" stuff with some people when I don't like them romantically? And some other questions. That's when it all made sense. Honestly, learning about this and questioning the beliefs I grew up with (plus my identity) kind of saved me. I would wait all the time for the "prince" that would make my life better, but now I just want friends and a very strong connection with them. I don't care about romantic relationships, my family and friends are enough. I don't feel like I'm missing anything either, besides, the love I feel towards others is just as special.
  15. Samu

    would you rather

    Stay clean all the time. I'd feel lazy to clean the mud in my body lol WYR have a (under) water kingdom or an air kingdom?
  16. False TPBM wants to travel to another planet
  17. Samu

    Rant

    Yep, thank you? I can’t believe how people think they know us better than we do. It’s really unbelievable. And I feel that, it is more than just the body and I think people tend to be ignorant about this either because they don’t want to inform themselves about it since they say it doesn’t affect them or because they hate/dislike us. It is possible that they grew up in an ignorant environment too. But I think that it is truly important to start reading about this issue (and trying to understand the experiences) when hearing about it or when a special someone says that they are x label. I hope that more people get to learn to see others in a neutral way, without assuming whether they are just male or female. Thank you for your answer, and yes, I do feel better now :) Indeed. I think it happens more with older generations, at least that’s what I see in my country. There are definitely a lot of things to unlearn, tho that’s a hard task if people aren’t really open to it. Thank you for the advice, I find it very interesting. However, I will not be talking to him for now, it is really bad for my mental health, sadly. If things get better in a near future, maybe I’ll do it so I’ll keep what you said in mind. I appreciate your answer :)
  18. Samu

    Rant

    Hi everyone! I have been exploring my gender for a while now. I identified as bigender in the past but now I think I might be genderfluid. I talked to someone important to me about this; I sent him a video of my transformation from fem to masc and he said “it is obvious that you are a woman”. Then I kindly asked for him to learn and see me just as a person, since I’m not sure of what label fits best yet. He then said “and you’re a person not an alien?”, to which I replied, “not a woman nor a man, I mean”, to which he said, again: “well, you have very feminine features and to me, you’re a woman. If you’re annoyed by that then I don’t know.” It felt extremely invalidating. Besides, after I told him that I’m not sure about my gender, he said that I have no rights to be bothered about him and others seeing or perceiving me as a woman. And I mean, I’m not quite sure of what I am, but I’m pretty sure of what I’m not. He also said that I’m not stable, so I don’t have the rights to be bothered nor will people know how to deal with me, besides saying that my identity isn’t relevant bc it doesn’t affect him/our relationship and I’m too sensitive about this. I just wanted him to try to understand and be there for me. I cannot go to anyone else to talk about this, it sucks. Also, I’ve told him about me questioning my gender at the beginning of my journey, tho I didn’t explicitly say that I identified as bigender. To that, he said that I should just live as I want. Now he forgot everything regarding that convo and said that I started to be like this just because I cut my hair. That also annoyed me bc it’s not something that happened from night to morning.
  19. yup! i have a long distance relationship partner right now and that doesn't erase the fact that im on the aro spectrum :)
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