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How to come out???


Guest Arrow_Ace
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Guest Arrow_Ace

Hi I'm new here ( Haven't posted anything ) and I'm looking for some advice on how to come out to my friends and family, particularly my family. I'd be comfortable with telling some of my friends as most of them are some flavor of LGBTQ+ themselves. But even thinking about telling my parents or siblings makes me seriously nervous. Any advice?

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Run through the scenario in your head. Think about what you want to say, and how you want to present it. (For example, do you want to be serious? casual?) Also consider how they might react, and how you would respond to that.

You may also want to find some resources explaining aromanticism that you can show your family and friends.

Also, if you're too nervous to talk to them in-person, you can write them an email or note.

Additionally, if you search "coming out" on this site's search bar, there are multiple other people asking similar questions, and you can check out the answers they recieved.

Edited by Pyr
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I agree with @Pyr's comments completely.

And I would also add, you absolutely can just come out to your friends if you feel like they'd be a source of strength for you, but you don't have to come out to everyone at once! I am really only out to my friends - I don't hide it but I never felt the need to even try to discuss it with my family & I'm not out to any of my work colleagues.

No one is entitled to know everything about you & if you feel better and safer coming out to just a few friends until that changes then that is absolutely your own decision.

Good luck!

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My advice? If you don't think they would necessarily accept the "aromantic" label, you don't have to use the word "aromantic". You can just say "I'm not interested in dating or romantic stuff", or however best sums up your aromanticism for you. Or, you could lead with that and say "the term for that is 'aromantic'"

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 Its great that you want to come out but… There are financial and social risks, especially with parents. 
 

If you still live with your parents, aren’t financially independent, or think they may help you pay for college then I would say give it a second thought. 
 

This is especially true with parents who hold strong conservative or religious values towards marriage and think it’s not a way but THE WAY to happiness. Even more so if they aren’t supportive of lgbtq people. Even more so if you have to live with them for a while. For example my parents believe God created marriage because it was bad that man “should be alone”. Genesis 2:18. 
 

If you are able to support yourself financially, and don’t have to live with them if coming out goes wrong, then thats the safest time to do it.

How to do it…

I have never come out to anyone, but I would recommend coming out gradually. Give a few hints by telling them what annoys you about romance. Test the waters this way to see how they react to this.
 

After that you have already made some impression on them, so they will know you are different from others. You telling them your aromantic won’t come as such a shocker…  It’s like vodka, just give someone a little bit at a time , not to much at once. Im referring to that stranger things season, the conspiracy man.

Thats it, hopefully it goes well for you and I hope what I said doesn’t scare you off from it. If you think it’s the right time then by all means get it over with and hope for the best! Your very brave to consider this by the way.

Hope it goes well for you! 
 

 

 

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