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i think my friend might be aro too, what should i do?



yesterday i was talking to one of my friends, and something he said struck me: "i feel like even if the most wonderful person liked me, i wouldn't be able to like them back" and i was like: ...... wait, what?

i did bring up that maybe he could be on the aro spectrum, since i also know he never liked anyone, but he said he thinks that's not it. he told me he thinks he's unconsciously sabotaging himself, because he's so insecure that it makes him feels like he isn't worthy of love. we talked a bit more about that, but it was like 3am at the time, therefore my brain cells weren't at its best, so i couldn't think of clear responses. even now, i don't really know what to think of that. and now that the conversation is over, i'm hesitant to bring this up again and be annoying.

i'm not sure what to do, i thought about talking to a friend we have in common and ask their opinion, but i don't want to tell someone else about this conversation without his consent, since it was quite personal. i'm thinking about bringing that up again, and try to help him figure out if he's actually aro or not... what do you think i should do and/or say? and do you also think he may be aro, based on what told?

(i may be overthinking this)

Edited by sol
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Stuff can be hard to figure out. Maybe he's on the aro spectrum, or maybe he isn't and does just have these self-confidence struggles. Maybe he has experiences which are in line with aromanticism but prefers to not use that label for some reason.

If he already knows about aromanticism, the most you can do is keep supporting him. Let him know that you can relate to some of what he's saying in regards to having a lack of attraction, and that you're here to talk if he needs it. But don't force anything, he might legitimately not feel like the label fits him.

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