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Aromantic, Demisexual, & Nonbinary. So much confusion when I was young. (And still a little confused now.)


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I was so confused as a teen & young adult. I had a general desire for sex, but the idea of sex with women sounded gross & backwards for me & the idea of sex with men sounded gross & backwards as well. (It took forever for me to realize that I was attracted to bio men who have a neutral/feminine personality.) I liked the idea of having some kind of partner, so long as we could live separately, skip the whole marriage thing, & NEVER have kids. But even knowing all that about what I liked & didn't like, a relationship still sounded awful because I so hated the idea of romance. Even now that I have all this sorted out, there's still a problem. Even if I were to meet a neutral/feminine dude that I had a lot in common with, who was aro & wanted the same lifestyle, then what? The idea of having sex casually is completely unappealing &, while the idea of sex within a committed relationship sounds nice, I don't want to put up with being in a committed relationship.
Anyone dealing with confusion like this?

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I think you can be close to someone without romance and without commitment, I dunno how often it happens because most ppl live this normative structure at least to some extent and even those who don't get swept under those narratives or not heard. I think though maybe the important thing is just getting doing things u enjoy and if u find ppl friends or what not thats good and if not its okay too. I think like its important just to be open minded about things really but ofc not in the sense of overstepping your boundaries and doing what u don't want.

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