I think I'm officially confused

[YXSHINN]

So for a while now I've been oscillating between grayhomoromatic ace (ace lesbian) and aroace (specifically oriented aroace).

 

I'm 18, nearly 19, and I've never had a crush.

 

Until now I've actually identified as both. But when I think about it, I don't really have a reason to call myself "legitimately grayro".

 

I've never fallen for a girl, but I could potentially see myself in a committed relationship with one. Whether that relationship would be romantic, I'm not quite sure. 

 

It probably would be ambiguously romantic, or more on the emotional/alterous side. That or a QPR would be ideal.

 

I fantasize about it a lot, and I can't really stop myself from thinking about what it would be like to be in a relationship with a girl. I'm not romance repulsed either, so picturing myself in said relationship isn't hard, but maybe that's because I don't really register it as "romantic"?

 

The problem is, I feel like grayro would imply that I do experience attraction, which I obviously don't (as for now at least). Aside from mental illness, my experience with basic platonic relationships is pretty much null, as well as my lack of emotional self-awareness (I can't process my emotions very well.)

 

Most grayro's I've seen here talk about that "one crush they had on their friend" and simply don't relate to that. 

 

This is really hard, since although aromantic does fit me, homoromantic (lesbian) feels accurate as well, to a degree.

 

If I were to describe myself, I'd probably say "that I'm aroace, but if attraction would present itself, it'd be a girl, 100%"

 

Any advice? What sounds more accurate? I just don't know anymore.

[nonmerci]

Maybe cupioromantic? For people who are aromantic but still have the desire to be in a romantic relationship.

Or maybe homoplatonic, or lesbian aroace, if you feel like it is more about QPR.

[Just a Bear]

 

5 hours ago, YXSHINN said:

I've never fallen for a girl, but I could potentially see myself in a committed relationship with one.

being able to imagine yourself in a relationship is not romantic attraction. I can see myself in a relationship with anyone, I'm not romantically attracted to them. just because something is possible doesn't mean you desire it. it's possible to eat paper, but there's no way I'm going to do that.