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That feeling when a former sexual partner says “I miss you”


Hellishfish
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It isn’t exactly disgust that I feel, but that comes close. I want to have a sexual relationship but it’s such a hassle when partners develop romantic feelings that I can’t reciprocate. Moments that might be touching, like “I miss you, I wish you were here” become these moments where all I want to say is “that’s nice.” In actuality I say “I miss you too” because it’s no particular skin off my back to lie in that way. How do the other allosexual aromantics here deal with partners and their romantic feelings? I feel terrible, like I’m having to break a persons heart. 

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Before going in a sexual relationship make the statement that is going tl be only a sexual relationship, no romance. If they say yes, you don't have to lie about the romantic coded messages, remind them that you saod from the beggining no romance and thats it. If they say no, then look for another person. A relationship is everyone inside or making aggreements on whata allowed and whats not. The party that breach it is the one at fault. You may not find that person in a short time but they exist. 

Tldr: be honest, don't give false hopes and treat a relationship like a contract, the one that breaks knowing it is not what the contract stipulates is in the wrong.

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