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Hello to all the Aros out there!


Aronaut
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Hello everyone, 

I wonder how much I am supposed to write here? I'm a baggage of personal problems and contradictions... so I will try to keep it short. 

I'm very new to the word 'Aro'. To be honest, until a few days ago I have never heard of it. And if I had heard it before, I might not have felt anything towards it (at least not until I failed at my current relationship - if I could call it that). I did not identify with any community until recently (mostly because no description has fit me well enough until now, which actually makes sense since most of them revolved around sex, romance and partnership). I have been thinking I am ace; aego to be precise. I also believed I have some mild kind of ASPD (now I am unsure as well). So you see, the question of my sexuality has been treated as a minor problem by me, since I thought I was 'just' straight while being too unsociable to actually get into a normal relationship. Which is weird since I don't have problems making contact with others and I think I am good with communication over all. 

I am unsure if I wasn't capable of love and romance because of the way I have lived my life until now (and the influence I received) or if I have always been this way. I want to find a common ground with my self or at least start to organize my life and instead of doing what I am supposed to do, finally do things my way and the way I see fit. Just recently, I started to emerge from a long time of self depreciation and loathing. I told a stranger my most recent story and they said I sounded either Borderline or Aro. Maybe one thing led to another. Maybe I came to the wrong place, maybe not. The thing is, mentality is so fluid, there is no way one word can fit it all. And no answer can solve all the problems. 

Many things written and shared in this forum hit off with me, so I registered because I don't want to be some ghost lurking around. Especialy at 'You might be aro if...' I had so many moments where I repeatedly had a 'I feel that' moment; that's why I felt some inkling to talk and maybe share some of myself now. Maybe my experience might be helfful to someone else as well. 

I am thankful for everyone who shared their experiences and those who engage in the discussions. I am thinking about writing down my experiences as well, bc I am the kind of person that usually likes to analyze a problem as a third person spectator so I can cope with my problems less one dimensional. Writing it down and reading it feels like I am working on the problems of someone else (self delusions occur when I think too much about a problem in my head). Haha. 

Anyway, thank you for reading and happy to be here! 

A.

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