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Feel like you're not worth being [insert something] with someone?


DivineCyst
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Sometimes I feel like I'm not worth being friends with my friends.

Sometimes when I'm not by or with (even then haha) my friends I feel like I don't deserve to be friends with them or even know them because it feels like they are just fine alone. 

I was quarantined recently and I asked what was everybody doing in the group chat and my friend responded and I let out a little steam because we were in the same math class and everything but they just got mad at me so I said I'll leave then. And they didn't do anything about it. 

Is it me? Am I not doing something right? Am I just not good enough? Are they too good for me?

I'm sorry whoever managed to read this far haha. It wasn't worth it. Sorry for wasting your time.

I'm sorry for seeming like I am offloading my problems here.

Edited by DivineCyst
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hi,

you are worthy of being friends with them. Your friend was clearly unhappy about you letting off steam, so when they didn't do anything after you said you would leave that is not an indication that you are not worthy of their time. They were mad, you were complaining and taking some time away to calm down was likely just a sensible decision on their part. I know it will have felt bad that they didn't stop you leaving but that doesn't mean they are too good for you.

Also I would say that your friends being fine alone is not a bad thing. That doesn't mean they don't need or value you. I am fine being alone, it doesn't mean I don't value my friends it is just something about the way I am. Some people live well without close friendships, some people keep a few friends and are ok with that and some people really need friends and struggle mentally without them. Seeming fine alone doesn't mean they don't value your friendship.

Lastly, no worries about offloading your problems here, anonymous forums can be a great place to vent your frustrations.

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Ok, I see what you mean now! Thank you so much for helping me and showing me what could everything mean.

I'm going to be back in class next week, thankfully and I think that you were right about it being fine friends can be alone and still okay. 

That friend I was talking about is a lot like me, very stubborn and wise(I'm not but they certainly are, if they choose to care about the matter), but we do butt heads alot and we get over it but we tend to laugh at each other and ourselves and that is usually what fixes it haha ?.

Again, thank you for helping!

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On 3/1/2021 at 11:22 PM, DivineCyst said:

Sometimes when I'm not by or with (even then haha) my friends I feel like I don't deserve to be friends with them or even know them because it feels like they are just fine alone. 

I want to focus on this, because I recognise this feeling. Over the years, I have received enough proof that my friends like me that I can generally recognise that this feeling lies. But even factually knowing that every other time I have had this feeling I have been wrong, doesn't really make it go away in the moment. And it is trust built over multiple years that has allowed me to get to even that point. At this point, we sometimes joke about it as me lacking a sense of object permanence x) (If I can't hear your voice this second, do I know you're still in the call? If you haven't reach out to me in a few days, am I sure you're still my friend?)

I have fewer anxious days than not nowadays, thankfully, but I do know what it feels like. And I think the important part to recognise here is that your anxious mind lies to you. You are worthy of having friends, and the feeling that says that the moment they don't look at you they stop caring about you lies. It lies.

I hope you feel better soon

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