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Hello! I'd rather not take up much of your time, so I'll get to the point.

I have been questioning my romantic orientation for a while, and as of recently, I've been heavily leaning towards aromantic. There are many reasons as to why I believe this (i.e: I dislike romance in media, I don't think I've ever had a crush (usually just squishes), I don't think I've ever felt butterflies in my stomach, etc.) And I have also realized that my perception of how I want the future to be has changed over the last few months, and even years.

I have realized that instead of having a romantic partner in the future, I would be perfectly happy and content with a very close best friend, QPP, or maybe even a group of close friends. 

Looking back on my childhood, I don't recall feeling strongly for anyone in a romantic way, or at least not in the typical romantic way, if that makes sense. I can't remember feeling butterflies in my stomach when I was around my alleged "crush", and I don't remember feeling flush in front of them, either. In fact, I don't remember even fantasizing about real people until I was 12, and even then, I now think that the person I was fantasizing about was just someone whom I had an intense squish on. None of the things in my fantasizes were inherently romantic, which has led me to believe that I am aro. 

Honestly, I am still young, so I could just be going through a phase, but right now, aromantic seems plausible and fits very well. Any feedback on this matter would be nice, if you don't mind. 

Thank you for your time :)

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I began doubting my aromanticism, at first. I identified as oriented aroace, cupioromantic, etc... (not saying that those who identify as such would be in denial as I was, you guys are valid!) But for me, I do think I am bluntly aromantic. I am 'still young' too, but like you said, it seems very plausible. I used to think I might've experienced alterous attraction, but I think I would know if I did, and it's awesome that you're discovering yourself. <: And yes, being aro doesn't mean you can't have relationships! 

Whatever you end up solidifying your romantic orientation as is cool, and I think from this and your prior post, you being aro seems extremely plausible. 

Good luck!

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That’s really great you discoreved your romantic orientation. Congrats!

I started to doubt my orientation when I put an aromantic character in story I was writting and when I finished it, I couldn’t stop thinking that I can be aro (and I had a short auto-gatekeeping phase, if I can call it this way). I think it’s interesting to see that there are many, many ways to discover yourself.

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14 hours ago, Jayden_Alexander said:

I have realized that instead of having a romantic partner in the future, I would be perfectly happy and content with a very close best friend, QPP, or maybe even a group of close friends. 

This was a conclusion I also came to, before I identified as aromantic.

14 hours ago, Jayden_Alexander said:

Honestly, I am still young, so I could just be going through a phase, but right now, aromantic seems plausible and fits very well.

It's quite possible, it's a phase. If you choose to identify as aromantic, but later realize you're not , that's fine. Life is confusing and people commonly misidentify themselves all the time, it happens.

Honestly, do as much research as you can. The more you know, will help in the long run.

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Hey!

Personally, I discovered asexuality first, and dismissed the idea that I could be aromantic entirely. For me, I think my mind had been so enamoured with this saturated concept of love in media and storytelling, that I just couldn't picture myself without it.

Then, similarly to what you've described, I started to actually analyse my feelings as opposed to my beliefs, and discovered that I had never actually felt that romantic attraction feeling thing in my own experience. I spent time reading what other people had experienced and trying to relate it to my life.

I think, definitely research (seems we're in the right place for that :)) but I found that the right label for me was simply one I felt most comfortable in. That might change, it might not. You might cycle through labels, or you might decide you don't want to label anything. It might be a phase, but (as I've read somewhere - I can't take credit for this) the moon also goes through phases. That doesn't make it any less, the moon.

Life is yours to do what you like with, and only you can decide what that is. (It's a choose-your-path adventure book, if you will)

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  • 4 weeks later...

I had crushes as a teenager...or at least that's what I called them. Not certain what they were, 20 years later. None of them ever went anywhere.

Still learning all the categories and subcategories. Doubt there's much nit-picking, though; the field is still in development.

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