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Demiromantic or a Late Bloomer?


ollie.is.gay
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hey, i’m ollie, and i’m pretty new here... i’ve been super confused lately about my sexuality. i’m turning 13 in two weeks and i’ve identifies as lgbtqa+ since i was around,, 11, i think? at first pansexual, then lesbian... but all my friends have had crushes and whatnot, whereas i’ve never felt anything more than physical / aesthetic attraction and strong platonic attraction. i love the idea of a relationship and am 100% attracted to females in some form of way, but i’m starting to question wether i’m demiromantic or possibly aromantic... but am i, or am i just a late bloomer - or, possibly, do i FEEL romantic attraction but not know??

i don’t understand the concept of “love at first sight”. how someone can see someone, talk to them for a little bit and suddenly - boom! - they’re madly in love. it takes me ages just to THINK about a romantic relationship, and even then it’s not an actual crush - just curiosity. 

please, any aromantic/demiromantic people here, help me out - i’m super confused and i hate feeling like this; so out of control and isolated. (also, if you have any tips on separating romantic feelings from platonic ones, that would be great - i suck at that lol)

- ollie ?

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It is possible that you're a "late bloomer", but I think it is completly plausible to identify as aromantic from a young age. I started questioning myself around that age too and it would have saved me a lot of trouble if I had just accepted myself then.

If the label feels right for you, just use it! If you, later on, find that it doesn't fit you anymore, just change it. It's all fine. 

4 hours ago, ollie.is.gay said:

i’m super confused and i hate feeling like this; so out of control and isolated.

Big mood. I feel you. 

4 hours ago, ollie.is.gay said:

do i FEEL romantic attraction but not know??

I find that very unlikely. From what I understand, allos experience romantic attraction as a very distinc feeling, but I might be wrong on that. 

 

 

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13 hours ago, ollie.is.gay said:

am i just a late bloomer

It is perfectly normal to not have experienced romantic attraction at age 13, maybe if you were 17 it could be considered being a late bloomer.

13 hours ago, ollie.is.gay said:

do i FEEL romantic attraction but not know??

This is very possible.

13 hours ago, ollie.is.gay said:

i don’t understand the concept of “love at first sight”. how someone can see someone, talk to them for a little bit and suddenly - boom! - they’re madly in love. it takes me ages just to THINK about a romantic relationship, and even then it’s not an actual crush - just curiosity. 

Again this is pretty normal. Many people experience crushes based entirely on appearance, but for many people it is necessary to get to know a person first, and then romantic feelings are built over time with intention. The way the media commonly portrays romantic feelings is only one of many ways in which people develop and experience them, and not a very realistic one at that.

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